Timing as conception? Not convinced.

[Twoanddone86]

I will start by saying my cycles are very regular. 28 days. And I’m 35 so knocking on a bit fertility wise. It took a couple of years for us to fall pregnant with dc2 but both pregnancies nearly finished me off. Hospitalised with both for the final month. Poorly babies. I had pnd with both. I cannot have a third and I don’t want a third.

I did briefly go back on the pill but it doesn’t really suit me, I cannot take the combined pill and the mini pill causes random bleeding and - I believe - weight gain. I am happy to use condoms. Dh won’t. He wants me to go back on the pill. He won’t have a vasectomy. He is 47.
Failing me taking the pill he wants to just use timing. I’ve told him I’m not happy with this and that if I got pregnant again I wouldn’t want to keep the baby. It’s not a situation I want to be in. Dh says I wouldn’t ‘be allowed’ to have an abortion. I said rather than arguing over that let’s just make sure we don’t end up in that position. He says he’d rather not bother than use condoms.

It’s causing an issue. Even if I say no, I’m not risking it, he keeps on. Timing isn’t that reliable, right? I mean it’s fairly reliable I suppose. But it just worries me, that outside chance.

I'm sorry but your (D)H sounds like a knob.
After all you've been through, he's willing to risk your physical and mental well being for the sake of wearing a condom

He should really man up and see about a vasectomy. Stick to your guns about the timing issue. There is no way that's safe.

There are loads of condoms out there now that really feel like wearing nothing. I'm thinking Skyns elite for a start.

But you considered the coil? (although I still think it's his issue to fix, you've done your bit) I have a mire a and really have very little side effects except no periods which is nice.

And you find this man appealing enough to actually want to have sex with?? Why???

He originally said he’d have a vasectomy but now he won’t. He just keeps putting off making a dr’s appointment. He read all these things online about them going wrong. It’s annoys me - I have had two c sections ffs. He said give it another six months and then he will see. In the interim he wants me to go back on the pill. I don’t really want to take anything else that changes me hornones, anything estrogen based gives me migraines with aura which is why I could only have the mini pill.
I’m happy to use condoms but he won’t and never has.
He keeps saying - well you must know if it’s safe or not? When’s the safe time?
I know it’s much less likely at certain times than others, really women are only fertile for a few days a month. It worries me all the same though. I am making him ‘frustrated.’

Your husband sounds disgusting

I think contraception is the least of your concerns!

Problems with vasectomies are very rare and he is a selfish arse to put you through this. Make the Dr's appointment for him and go with him to ensure he gets it done. If he doesn't want to have one, then I would finish his sex life now and forever.

My wife and I have three children. We don’t want any more. I booked a vasectomy in January but two weeks before she convinced me to not go through with it as she was worried she’d feel differently about sex.

She went on the pill, and it caused her skin to flare up, gain weight and cause mood swings.

She swapped the pill for another type and this was even worse.

Currently she’s not on contraception. I too hate condoms but use the withdrawal technique.

From a man, your husband sounds like he’s a bit of a dick who doesn’t put your feelings or health seriously.

Show him my response.

He says he’d rather not bother than use condoms.

Call his bluff on this. In a couple of weeks his little chap will be suited and booted, so to speak.

Timing is a shit method of contraception (as is withdrawal). No proper contraception = no sex in my house. I currently have a Mirena coil and I love it but plenty of ladies don’t. The pill didn’t agree with me.

Your husband needs to get a vasectomy, wrap the chap or get used to visiting with Mrs Palm and her 5 lovely daughters!

I wouldn't be having sex with him at all then. He sounds vile. And what the hell is that about not 'letting' you have an abortion!!!

It's not the sex board you want, its relationships.
He's a prat and no mist!