Foreskin help

[foreskinforearmed]

Potential new partner recently told me he has an issue with his foreskin - it's very sensitive and doesn't pull back without significant pain or discomfort and he's telling me in case it led to sex. He said he's not sure he's able to have sex with it (never tried!) but it doesn't matter as we can do other stuff.

I don't know what to think as this isn't something I've ever heard of before! Obviously don't want him hurting himself but sex is a pretty big deal to me and it sounds like he's ruling it out? Has anyone experienced this? Are there ways around it? He's not slept with anyone before so has no experience of it in action but says masturbation can be uncomfortable. I'm not sure what to do!

@foreskinforearmed do you really believe that when he hasn't had sex,rarely masturbates and it can hurt a lot really believes he doesn't have something wrong with him. Unless he is incredibly naive then he has his head in the sand and really does have a serious problem which he will be living with for the rest of his life

Just persuade him to see his GP and if they say he is fine then he will know.... although you know yourself the GP won't say that!!

I think the fact that he’s denying it’s a problem is the biggest issue. My DH had the same issue, although maybe not quite as severe because he didn’t have pain masturbating. He’d had sex before we met, but never as regular as in a long term relationship, and a few years in he did have to seek medical help for the pain. He had to be circumcised as at his age, steroid creams and stretching weren’t effective enough. The surgery and recovery were horrendous, but it was worth it to be pain free now.

If your friend won’t seek help, he’s only delaying the inevitable. It isn’t shallow to be reluctant to start something with someone who won’t admit he has a problem.

@someoneontheinterweb. Useful for the OP. Shame your DH had such a bad experience hence why I suggested if he does need it doing then see a clinic that specialise. There are options about using clamp or ring methods that were explained to DH along with how he would like it as they can vary how much foreskin is removed, although the OP friend may not have that choice. My Dh had mild discomfort from it but was really neat and nice looking result

Yeah my DH was just unlucky. He had a post op infection that caused pain and swelling for weeks, and wasn’t helped having the wrong antibiotics prescribed to begin with so it didn’t clear up very fast. His story isn’t typical though, and circumcision is preferable to long term pain during sex. And the sooner it’s done the better. I don’t remember all the details, but DH had a lot of scar tissue where it had torn just slightly without him realising over the years. The whole thing would have been so much easier if he’d sought advice in his teens rather than his 30s.

Ex dh had this - he was circumcised at 33 and it was sorted. I'm surprised your dp has got so far in life with this issue

ExDH had similar. Condoms and lube were he friends!

You've said you're a very sexual person. He clearly is not. Unless you want to be on a thread about being trapped in a sexless marriage in a few years time, you might want to reconsider this relationship as sexually you are not compatible