Sex life with dp non existent, help!

[needmoregintonight]

Have name changed AGAIN for this. Met dp over two years ago, started out as FWB and the sex was great, at it several times a week, couldn't keep our hands off each other. I got emotionally involved quite quickly but our relationship as really good mates progressed too. Would spend days a week together. Both got into other short relationships early last year and cheated with each other, not at all proud of this and I'll never do it again. We decided last year there was something more to us and we started seeing each other properly, got together officially early this year. SO... we just don't have sex. It's dwindled since last year but it's now been five weeks again. It's not just the sex part though, it's the closeness that I miss too. The kissing, touching etc just feeling 'wanted' if that makes any sense. He says he just has no sex drive at all and I try not to force him but he knows it's becoming an issue especially as he asked me last night. I can get a bit fed up of the situation and I know I'm not the best at hiding it. I think I just remember what we were like before and wonder what has happened. I'm early 30's and he's mid 40's - am I expecting too much? I love him with everything and there is much more to our relationship than sex but I miss it and just feel like that's it. Will it ever happen again?

op in his mid-40's his sex drive should be fairly normal. I'm in my late 50's and still have a high sex drive.

If it was just piv, I'd have suggested he should speak to his doctor - consider a test for testosterone levels, or speak to a local pharmacist about over the counter Viagra, but - he doesn't kiss, cuddle or touch you? That's definitely more than no sex drive, or do you mean in a sexual context?

If there is no intimacy at all, then is it possible he's getting it somewhere else? (sorry ) - you say you started as FWB - how did you meet? Could he have met someone else the same way? or he may have checked out of the relationship.

Either way, you need to decide what you want, and talk to him.

Thanks for your reply. We met at his place of work, there is ample opportunity for him to meet other women but everyone who goes there and works there knows me and I don't think he'd risk it plus he's with me most of the time he's not working... BUT even his closest friends have said to me he was a bit of a slag before we got together. I mean that's how we met really... He cuddles me, holds my hand, we do kiss but very rarely anything other than a quick one on the lips. We made a decision about two months ago to make a further commitment to each other, not marriage or kids, don't want to say too much as identifying. We have chatted before about it but he said he doesn't know what has happened, he's just switched off from it, he won't go to the drs there's no way. I feel embarrassed even bringing it up and have stopped initiating anything as I either don't want to be turned down or make him do something that he's not really into. I just want him to want me, I want the passion back that was there before, it just gone and I feel completely disgusting.

Op,
Repeat several hundred times - It's absolutely not you!

So there is some intimacy? That's something I suppose, but there should be a lot more. If you had been together 20 years, then maybe things would have slowed down, but not after 2..

Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and if two peoples sex drives are as badly mis-matched as yours seem to be, then maybe it's time to move on?

Have a look around the threads on here - if he is "playing away", he can easily hide it. Is he carful with his phone for instance? I hope for your sake I'm wrong...

Personally, I wouldn't be making any further commitments until this is sorted out. Do you want to spend the next (insert appropriate figure!) years of your life with a man that wont even touch you? (I think we both know the answer).

Why won't he go to the doctors? Embarrassment? He could still get over the counter Viagra (or maybe you should?), to see if that makes a difference, although at mid 40's he really shouldn't need it.

Finally, and I'm pretty sure I'll get flamed for this, but, would you consider, er alternative arrangements? I'm certain there are thousands of guys that would be willing.

Sorry, just re-read your first post. Please ignore my last comment. I realise that's not something you would do.