New relationship after sexless marriage ...

[Justme1981]

Hi all
I left my awful marriage of 14years last year, we didnt have sex for just over 2 years before we separated, its been over 3 years since ive had sex.
Ive now met a lovely man, relationship has built from friendship, its lovely, really new & early days, but so far so good. Im staying over at his for the third time tomorrow night. We havent gone any further than kissing (which was lovely) and hes happy to take that side of things slowly but. How do I build my confidence to go further? Im a curvy size 14, not really body confident at all. Bit scared of sex now & especially after having ds, & not being with anyone for so long - its scary! All advice welcome.
Thank you

Don't be scared! You are a goddess. Turn the lights down low, and trust your body. And enjoy.

I've been in similar situation and the first few times I was so nervous i couldn't speak, but now I am much more relaxed and trying things I never dreamt about with my ex.

Curvy is very desirable. Go for it! x

Aww thank you, its good to know others have been in a similiar situation

Been there almost identically. Years with no sex, split, divorce. I’m a size 14 and curvy. New partner seems to be a huge fan of the curves, he finds me sexy and now I am really finding my confidence increasing. He is adventurous and is encouraging me to try new things (in a non-pushy way). Just accept your inner sex goddess and take the plunge!

Thanks! That is great to hear - just gonna go for it!!

Curves are great, most men like them.

I'll second that.

Thanks all 😊

Ok to update - we did it! It was amazing, however i kept my dress on ... any tips on improving my mum tum confidence?

Get a sexy outfit like a chemise then wear that but as your confidence grows you'll soon be without it

Don't stress about your mum tum, the world is mostly made up of people with mum tums, stretch marks, dad bods, wobbly bits and all sorts. Its part of what makes us who we are.

He probably doesn't have a perfect body himself but even if he does you'd still fancy him if he didn't.

Thank you both, i guess its just going to take time to increase my confidence. Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

Emma Thompson once said, 'men don't care what women look like naked.' Many years ago, sadly separated, I met someone with as many lumps and bumps as me. The only difference I was bald and didn't have a mum tum, just a bog standard paunch. Forty years later, we still have our private giggles as we remember what we got up to.

Confidence? I'd been told by my ex wife to be I was no good in bed. If you've done it once, he'll happily do it again. Perhaps next time, ask him to undress you (slowly!). I wish you both every happiness.

Aww thank you @Gentlygrowingoldermale that is a really lovely message, thank you for the good wishes too

I feel for you, OP. I have my share of body confidence issues, and after leaving a long-term relationship, it's hard to let go with another man.

I try to remind myself that the man I'm with isn't some perfectly chiseled creature, but a human with lumps and bumps and a weird body just like me - a different shape, of course, but still human and imperfect. And I fancy him enough to get him naked, so he must feel the same....

But really, at the end of the day, my body confidence must come from within myself, and not be dependent on anyone else's input. That's what I'm still working on - some days are better than others!

@Justme1981 I was in a similar boat, similar anxieties. My ex was gorgeous but due to anger issues etc, our sex life had dwindled to nothing. Until I met my current FWB, I probably hadn't had sex for 2 years plus. What id say is it's easy to criticise oneself but actually, believing in yourself is a huge thing. I have a decent figure, sexy, solvent and now confident. My FWB lusts after me hugely and has made me want to try so many new things, most recently dressing up and role play. With someone kind and happy, things will be easy for you so just enjoy the ride.

Thanks all, massively appreciated