Is it me?

[ProblemOne]

NC for this.

I’ve been seeing someone for about 3 months, we see each other about once a week due to shift patterns. When we see each other it usually ends in sex, often more than once in a ‘session’. However, he’s only cum 3 times out of all the times we’ve had sex.

I’ve never experienced this before and it’s starting to make me question if it’s me. If I’m not good enough for him? Or not attractive enough? Or he’s not that into it with me.

I don’t want to say anything to him just yet because I think it’ll come across as me being disappointed with him which I’m not, he always makes me cum - often more than once. TMI sorry - he’s the only person I’ve been with who’s made me squirt so it’s realllly good for me but I’m just worried I’m not going to be enough for him in return.

It's not you. If you don't turn you on to the extent he can't cum he wouldn't be able to get hard and presumably wouldn't even be in bed with you.

Is he on any antidepressants that you know of? There are some of these that cause exactly this problem.

Double edged sword here for men and this is only from my experience

If we are massively turned on we dont want to cum too soon so we do all kinds of stuff to slow it down. We may hit a spot where we have gone past the orgasm stage, the nerves have been desensitized and we can still be hard but nothing else.

It is early days and you are still just enjoying sex. It doesnt always have to end in a Male orgasm. After sex try an nice hand job so he can lay back and enjoy. Maybe hes also panicking coming inside you because he has a phobia about you getting pregnant.

All kinds of stuff mess guys up and its rarely the woman.

Thanks for the replies. He’s not on any antidepressants. He’s mumbled something about watching too much porn so I was thinking maybe he’s become a bit desensitised but when we’ve done doggy he pulls out and gives himself a handjob but still doesn’t cum. So I’m thinking if he can watching porn but not me it must be me?

If I try to give him a handjob or blowjob he only lets me for a few minutes then stops me to do something else but he’s making noises like he enjoys it so I don’t know why he stops me?

Don’t think it’s worrying about getting me pregnant either, he really wants a baby and although it’s too soon in our relationship for that yet it wouldn’t be the end of the world because I know from the way he’s talked about it he’d be there for a baby even if things didn’t work out for us.

This can happen sometimes based on habit, how much does he masturbate and does he always finish then? It can take time to readjust and you can both help that by trying different foreplay or positions.

It could also be a visual thing for him...there are a few things that might easily send him over the edge so to speak...

Good luck!