Partner used to date someone who had 10 partners a night

[Shelly421]

My current partner was very much a hedonist and a previous partner and him went to certain places where she would have sex with up to ten men a night. I am much much less experienced in everything but can't get the thought out of my mind that I can't compare. He says he loves sex with me because they didn't have any intimacy but I just feel overwhelmed by the idea of her.

Have you discussed STIs?

@scaevola yes and he has been tested. I think I'm just intimidated by exes who were much more involved in that lifestyle before.

If he wanted her, he would still be with her. If he wanted you, he would be with you.

You do need to work on your insecurity. It is deeply unattractive and often proves to be corrosive in a relationship.

Have you ever considered that having ten sexual partners in one night was one way that his previous partner dealt with a gnawing belief that she was not sexually attractive?

I should imagine that kind of sex was a soulless as the grave and suspect he got very little out of it as he probably did his own thing. Or maybe it was fun at the time. As he said no actual intimacy which would get to you after a while.

He actually finds it a real turn on, to see a partner with loads of partners but looking at him. However, pp was right, I need to sort out my insecurity as we do have a great time together, I just always panic I'm not wild enough..

OP if you have a great time together just focus on that. My partner was with a woman before me who was bisexual and over 10 years younger than me. I felt a bit insecure and thought I might not be sexy or exciting enough but we have a great time together and have amazing chemistry. When we're apart he misses me and that's enough.

Your partner has lived out that fantasy and wants you now.

I think that what people want can change over time too. He enjoyed that then. And he's enjoying the intimacy he has with you now. Could be that his ex has also changed.
I would put her out of your mind.

If he's trying to turn you into her or persuade you to do anything you're not comfortable with, then that's a game changer.

My ex partner was part of the swinging scene for many years, swore blind he'd moved on from that and wanted exclusivity when we met...it took him just 8mths before he was contacting a woman from those days, to see if she was still interested...
At the time I felt very much like the OP, in that i cant have been enough for him. It's taken a while for me to realise that's just what floats his boat, just a pity he wasnt honest about that in the begining....