Just not bothered!

[RunnergirlUS]

Hello,

So I've been with DP about 2.5yrs, it's not been a straight forward realtionship, big age gap etc.

But to get to the point I'm just not bothered about sex. It's not that I don't love him, I love him to bits, he says he worries I don't fancy him, which I do... But I just can't be arsed!!

I put it off all the time, but then he gets a bit off with me, then I feel pressure, and the more pressure I feel the less I want to do it.
Most of the time I just do it to get it out the way and go back to enjoying being with him without the pressure.

Part of me wonders if it's me, I used to be very keen on 'me time' but since our relationship I hardly ever bother, for similar reasons!

Just at a loss of what to do. We seem to be in the same cycle. He says there's no pressure but I mean, there is! He gets arsey if nowt happens for a few weeks.

Anyone else been through similar?

I’m afraid I can’t relate to this. I have needs and l would be crawling up the wall and extremely grumpy.

I had this for months and couldn't figure out what was wrong.
After delving into my actual feelings, I realised that I wasn't actually attracted to (ex) anymore and things had just grew apart.

I used to have this with my ex. Although it was extreme. He basically had to have sex almost every day and if I didn't he'd sulk and be mean. Years later I realised he was basically raping me every goddamn day. He didn't care if I didn't want to. He had his needs and that was it.

An unenthusiastic yes is basically a no.
Emotional coercion is wrong.
But...yes he has needs, if you can't or don't want to fulfil them then he needs to look elsewhere, not blackmail you into it.