Vibrator recommendations for someone who hasn’t had one

[bebeboeuf]

Recently married, DH who previously had high libido says he pretty much has no libido at the moment after I asked following numerous rejections.

I’ve never had a vibrator before and have no idea where to start.

Can anyone recommend anything for a newbie?

Preferably something I can buy or have delivered same day

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If you've found this page in your search of affordable sex toys and essentials that have been recommended by fellow Mumsnet users, you might find our guide to the best cheap sex toys useful. Hope this helps! MNHQ

Personally I would start with a small bullet vibrator - the small Tracey Cox ones on lovehoney are similar to the first one I had. You can use it externally or internally. Or if you buy one with a slight curve you can use it for g spot stimulation which is all I use them for these days, but you can still use it externally. I got a brilliant Mantric rechargeable g spot vibrator from lovehoney recently and it covers everything I need.

I also got a womaniser which is completely different from any other sex toy I’ve tried and I wasn’t convinced I liked it at first but after a bit more experience with it, it’s absolutely amazing. Lots of women report that they have an orgasm in under 30 seconds, which was definitely true for me, but it was a bit too intense and full on at first.

Aside from that though, you definitely need to keep talking to your DH - has anything changed, illness, new medications, big life stress, new baby, pregnancy etc?

I went through this pretty much within minutes of the wedding ceremony. Soul destroying.

I also had one but didn't get one til years later. The Ann Summers ones I tried all felt too big and industrial. I now have one I got off amazon from a company called Adore Me. It's really good. I've heard Lovehoney spoken of on here a lot though in very positive terms.

They’re the only place I buy this stuff from now - they deliver next day, they accept returns on toys if you don’t like them, packaging is very discreet, they have a good range.

Until recently I last used them about 4 or 5 years ago. Just recently made my first purchase in ages and they’re just as good.

Personally at first I didn’t want anything that looked like a penis, or anything that was used internally initially - the idea sort of grossed me out to be honest, and many of them prioritise size over everything else and I’ve never been a fan of large toys. Something multi functional is good if you don’t know what you like and can experiment with.

There’s a cheap one on lovehoney that is internal and then has a sort of butterfly shaped thing that provides clitoral stimulation at the same time. It’s very non-threatening (i look at the rampant rabbits and just think nope, too big!) and has excellent reviews.

I hope you’re okay, I’ve been on the other side (the one who’s lost their libido completely for years on end due to medication) so I know how much pressure this puts on things. Do you want to talk about it? Were things okay up until the wedding? Sending

Thanks for all the recommendations. Il look into those.

There’s been some stress since the wedding but nothing I thought was affecting him enough to result in lost libido.

The run up to the ending was highly stressful (probably more for me though) and didn’t have this affect.

It’s saddened me as it’s affecting my confidence and self esteem

I had an ex that went off sex completely but I stayed with him for 15 years and it’s soul destroying, so I’m hopeful that this is just a blip.

Oh bless you, I think the worst thing is not knowing what’s going on. I didn’t really know what was causing my issues, but I knew it was physical (eventually figured out it was hormonal) and nothing to do with my feelings for DH. Talking about it often helped to keep our relationship strong, but I hate that I had to put him through it.

I did everything I could though - saw doctors (useless), tried supplements, counselling, sex therapy, not taking medications that I definitely needed and therefore enduring years of unnecessary pain, even the opposite to aversion therapy which was horrifying for me and definitely did not help. I think DH seeing how much I tried to fix it did help him. I hope your DH is willing to be open and make an effort to sort it.