Getting carried away with unsuitable man

[Shelby121]

Hi all,

Been out of an abusive relationship for a year, not had sex in the past 2 years. Had very few partners ever and I struggled with letting myself go with anyone in the past so sex was pleasuring them and me switching off.

Have known friend for 6 months now, would not date him as he has a few mental issues but we really click. He is the first person I've trusted to be intimate in any way. He is extremely experienced in bed and thinks I'm some sort of goddess.

I guess what I'm asking is is this sort of sexually charged yet no fit in real life, normal. I've never met anyone I feel so at ease with physically but my head is saying just wait for someone who is a better fit in our real lives. Ive never been one to have casual sex but this all seems so easy.

Can you go more into detail about the concerns regarding mental health?
My boyfriend has severe mental health issues. What is it you're hoping to avoid by not having an exclusive relationship?

Do you think that not doing so will prevent his "problems" effecting you? If so then I'd advise against a sexual relationship either.

Theres nothing wrong with not being able to take on another person's health issues and I'll be the last person to ever advise ignoring or jumping in regardless but it might be that they're going to come however you package it.

@HeavensNoHellYeah he has ADHD and depression but appears to manage it well. We both know there is no long term future as so different but there seems to be a very strong physical pull when in private. It feels very comfortable but not your normal type of relationship.

Try not to worry about whether it's normal- if it's mutually consensual and pleasurable then it sounds great.
Just set some boundaries together beforehand to say what exactly it is/isn't and enjoy yourselves!

FWIW it also sounds perfectly normal to work out a sex arrangement without the relationship bit

I would personally struggle with the sort of relationship you describe as I find difficult separate sex and intimacy from feelings but if you can and works for you then good luck

I have no idea about the pros and cons of friends with benifits type arrangements, but I happen to know of a few resources for info about ADHD that might help you understand his condition to make a more informed choice. reddit.com/r/adhd is a place where people with adhd chat/rant/support each other - it's quite a good insight into how it effects peoples lives. Also I'd recommend some of the videos on YouTube by Dr Russel Barkely about adhd, m.youtube.com/results?search_query=Dr+russell+barkley+adhd