Not interested

[Mumof2boys74]

Long story short I don’t want to have sex with my husband . Our relationship has always been fraught . He’s cheated on and off for mostly 15 years and is someone who when you talk to him shouts very loudly calls me names and is generally horrible. We’ve two kids and I just don’t know what to do anymore I feel stuck with this. The sex thing is becoming a big issue he wants porn star sex ( his porn habit is also an issue) but I just want to be close to someone . When I give in which at the minute is roughly every month/6 weeks after a lot of wine he talks the whole way through it about what he wants and if I say no he huffs and does it anyway. No clue how to get out of this without loosing the kids ( he’s threatened that) just putting it out here for some sort of guidance

You can't carry on like this; he sounds awful. Why would you lose your children?

When I give in which at the minute is roughly every month/6 weeks after a lot of wine he talks the whole way through it about what he wants and if I say no he huffs and does it anyway.

He’s raping you, do you realise this? I know how hard it is to realise this when you’re in it, but it’s clear as day from here.

Stop giving in. Stop doing it. You don’t want to have sex with him so don’t do it. Yes, he will be an insufferable prick - find your voice and tell him you don’t care. He can behave like a decent person (which I suspect is impossible) or he can fuck off.

No clue how to get out of this without loosing the kids ( he’s threatened that) just putting it out here for some sort of guidance

He’s not going to take the kids - he’s trying to control you. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that he does pretty much no parenting at all most of the time? (Yes, I know this type of man!).

I know it’s easy for me to say and I know from experience how hard it is to do. Say no. Let him have a strop. Kick him out. Don’t live like this, I can’t tell you how good life is on the other side of this shit.