Swingers Venue

[AnythingConsidered]

After lots of discussion, both in the bedroom and out, and after years of fantasising about it, my DH and I are planning on attending a Swingers Venue on Sat Evening.

We have never done anything like this before and are nervous/excited at the same time. I've read a few websites and are finalising our boundaries/acceptability for the evening. But wondering if there is any advice or tips for first timers before we go?

I keep asking myself what if questions - what if we don't like anyone, what if we like everyone, what if no one likes us, what if someone approaches us but we aren't interested, etc as well as, what I imagine are 'normal' questions, like what should I wear, what time should we arrive (it's 8pm to 3am), what is the etiquette, how do you approach someone, how do you discuss what is agreeable for both parties in advance etc

No idea what to expect!!!

Google The Vanilla Alternative and have a browse of their website. It's a great club.

Also get yourself onto the FabSwingers website. There is a forum dedicated to clubs with reviews and you can see what other people have asked about their visits. I'm pretty sure all your questions will have been asked before.

The main things are
A polite No never offends
And
Go without any expectations of playing

If you attend a swingers occasion,you have to go with an open mind about all things,as at first,you will notice that all the people are of different ages most probably, and all the people will be of different types. I have not been to any of these evenings at all, but know two couples who frequent them often..

I guess that you will have to discuss with your husband,what you will both be prepared to do I suppose, just go with the flow maybe. have fun anyway,!!

Best advice is to treat your first time as a "dress rehearsal" and plan to just have a drink and chat to other people. That takes the pressure off. There are usually other newbies there every week at these places who are nervous too-everyone is on their first time. The staff will often offer you a tour around the place if you ask. Saturday is a good night to go if it's couples only night. These are usually better attended than the nights that allow single men. I'd suggest arriving an hour after opening when it will have filled up with people. Don't leave it too late as people may have all got together with others and disappeared off to play rooms.

Don't worry about what to wear. What was is someone on here said?

Oh yes. You'll look like a plasterer's radio by the end of the night anyway.

With an ex of mine when we used to attend we used a code for if we were interested. Whilst holding hands a grab of the thumb meant " OK I'm interested", grabbing the middle finger meant "no way" and grabbing the little finger was a "not fussed - maybe later". This meant we knew what the other was thinking without having to talk!

Hope you had a wonderful time, OP.

Little update... We've now been twice & have our third (Vanilla Alternative) & fourth visit (Xtasia) planned.

The first night was frankly terrifying - the act of walking through the door required pulling up our big girl/boy pants and a
big breath... But everyone was incredibly welcoming, friendly and willing to talk with us. We didn't 'play' on this night, but we enjoyed seeing the place, the rooms & quickly learnt some things that we absolutely NOT interested in.

The second time, we met an experienced couple & after chatting for an hour or so, went to a private room for some soft swing (loving learning the new language!). h
Had a great time together, though sadly I didn't look like a plasterers radio at the end of the night ;-)

Thank you to those of you who responded. mistert373 we stole your finger notification and it worked a treat!