Been with my partner 7 years and never had anal.

[Shootingstar1115]

Hi all, the above says it all. We’ve been together for nearly 7 years, live together, have children..

But we’ve never had anal. Is this normal? We talk about it a lot. Mainly in a jokey type way about the whole thing but we’ve never actually done it.

I like the idea, but get paranoid I won’t be clean enough (I am clean, I shower or bathe daily but how clean is it there!). He is also quite generously sized and has experienced pain at the start of sex (he has a tight foreskin). Even when I’m well lubricated, I am quite tight down therefore he has issues ‘getting it in’ and I think that puts him off anal. Sorry TMI.

He’s always denied doing anal with any previous relationships. I’m not sure if he actually hasn’t or he’s just saying that. He doesn’t talk about his past much. I haven’t done it before. Bearing in mind I was 20 when I met OH and had only been with a couple people beforehand.. he’s a little older and was more experienced.

Advice?

Sorry If this is TMi

I've never done anal with anyone and don't intend to either. Been with dh since the age of 19 (now 45)

Does he want to try it or do you?

Perfectly normal - it is not a prerequisite for everyone.

The rectum is empty most of the time; when that bit of the digestive tract has something in it, that is when we get the feeling that we need to go.

A quick rinse out of the rectum with an anal douche will suffice. There is no need to have a full-on enema in order to be clean. Indeed, water often becomes trapped in the folds of the colon and can take a good coupe of hours to drain out. Have a towel nearby and don't get freaked out by a bit of poo.

If you wonder what it is like, then try it. Go slowly, use plenty of lube, loads of foreplay to relax, and then use enough lube to float a battleship and you should be OK. It isn't for everyone, but it might be for you and there is only one way to find out.

I've been with my partner longer and have never, and would never do it.

I’m 50. Never done it and couldn't care less.

I guess you’ll need plenty of lube and see how it goes if you want to try

Same here, been with my DH since I was 17, that is 32 years and never even contemplated anal. It is something I find the idea of disgusting, (and so does he) Its a waste pipe for goodness sake!

I have also IBS and the thought of anything going in there! uuuurrgggh

Neither of you seem to be interested in it - so why worry about the absence of it?
If you are secretly curious - why not try some gentle finger stimulation in that area when he is doing oral? This way you can experience some of it and figure out if you want to try more....
(And as btw - many men like that sort of finger play too, just sayn 😳😂😳)

Anal is better when not planned!
In the moment, carried away, oops wrong one, oh, that’s quite nice....ohh!

DH and I have been together almost 15 years.

Have never done it.

I doubt we ever will.

We've talked about it and neither of us fancy it. If thy changed then I guess we'd have the discussion.

But I don't feel inclined to go near his bum hole and he doesn't particularly with mine. Plenty of other body parts we enjoy.

I had never with DH and was curious.

It's something I found that I enjoy, and my partner does A LOT.

To begin with anal is not for everyone as has been shown above. Secondly, it is not something that you can fall into when you are having a little celebration together, you need planning and preparation. It can also be very, very pleasant.

But if you want to try, it sounds as if you are on the right level with your partner, you need that discussion and plenty of lube; I have a friend who says that's why hotels are so keen on giving away mosturiser with the toiletries. I THINK she is joking.

I had 2 tries with anal in ny teens (and before anyone knocks me for that, I am now in my 40s), both times it hurt and I decided it was not for me. In my 30s I met someone who knew what he was doing and skillfully and equally gently did the deed. These days I participate occasionally.

Aside from lots of lube, communication is vital and I would suggest all fours and gently back on. Keep control of a gentle movement and he must resist any attempt to thrust. Missionary is possible too, but probably better off further down the line, should you both wish to continue. I would also suggest a condom for hygiene reasons.

Never want to, and feeling is mutual. OP you are not alone or in any way abnormal.

Been together 21 years married 12 and never had anal and have no desire at all for it

My partner likes anal and I'm not really bothered by it. We've done it a couple of times and if we do it again, fine. If not, fine.

Personally, I don't really see it as a big deal but if you're curious about giving it a go, read up on how to do it safely.

Dunno why I put partner 😂 I meant DH

I adore anal. Have done for years. There has onlt been one man who never wanted to try it.

I used to think that it was tricky - I used to do lots of prep, wash etcs, use butt plugs but one night my partner suprised me and fucking hell, it was amazing. We have only done it twice and yes, I'd like more but he has to want it to.

I'm suprised at him feeling pain on entry with normal PIV sex, that's quite unusual unless he is bloody huge.