Friends with benefits

[factcheck]

Opinions please.NC for this.

An old friend of mine and I have found ourselves both single. He has been away with work the last couple of weeks and we have found ourselves chatting on the phone lots and texting. Basically by the end of the few weeks we had stumbled on the idea of being friends with benefits. Neither of us want more past the friendship we already had

Anyway, fast forward and he's now back from work. I'm struggling with the way he's treating the FWB thing. I had assumed when he came back we would have at least had a drink together before launching into sexy time. However, he is clearly not of that mindset. I literally now only hear from him if he wants sex, and he does so in a way that makes me feel cheap.

Was I being unreasonable expecting a bit more 'respect'? Is that just how guys approach these things? (I've Never done this before).

And before anyone says this, no, I do not have feelings for the guy , but I do feel sad that I've lost a friendship

Thoughts please (especially you men!)

I can’t speak from a man’s point of you but I have enjoyed a number of successful sexual friendships (l don’t like the term friend with benefits) over the years.

I will be blunt. I can see no benefits for you here. A friendship should be just that, fun, the odd drink together, giggle yogether, a meal together, maybe a few days away, and, of course, quality sex.

It should not involve looking to long term commitment, shared finances or exclusivity (unless you agree on the latter), neither should rows occur because you both remain your own person.

But neither should you become what almost seems like a sex relief machine for someone. Friendships are first and foremost equal.

Thank you so much for this response ! I really appreciate it.

I agree, what you are describing is exactly what I anticipated, but a far cry from how I am being treated

@factcheck

There are times when you just need to walk away. There are also times when you find out who real friends are and are not.

There are others out there who could meet your needs pleasantly.

It sounds like he's forgotten the "friends" part of the equation? I can completely understand why you feel like you do. Are you sure he was actually that much of a friend to begin with? Even with the benefits part added to the mix, if he genuinely valued you as a friend he would still enjoy your non-sexual company. Either way, you owe him nothing. If it's not working for you knock it on the head with a clear conscience.