Offered DH anal and he said he wanted to watch tv!

[bebeboeuf]

It’s a rare child free day.

I ask if he fancies anal and he looked so disappointed as he wanted to watch some car program!

I’m now in the bath enjoying my peace and quiet but find it funny and also slightly rejected all at the same time

Is it something you regularly do?

Not all men are into anal - it's certainly not my cup of tea.

Having said that, if I added up all the times in my life a woman has proactively asked for anal, it would be precisely zero.

Not regularly but maybe 3-4 times a year if we have guaranteed child free time.

All I can say is that there have been countless times when we've been child free or had opportunities and I've tried to initiate sex and been rejected in favour of Gardner's World / British Bake Off / Mumsnet etc, so don't think you're alone.

I think that I might have words to say on this: child free days are a luxury for most couples, and should be made the most of. Your desire for anal intercourse is just about as intimate as things get, so to be turned down must have been crushing, especially when it is for a car program.

I am reminded of a friend's experience many years ago when his wife wanted sex, but he wanted to watch Star Trek. A compromise was reached in that they went for doggy style in the lounge with him facing the TV.

I am reminded of a friend's experience many years ago when his wife wanted sex, but he wanted to watch Star Trek. A compromise was reached in that they went for doggy style in the lounge with him facing the TV.

Oh dear, the potential for cliched Star Trek quotes is mind boggling.

"I'm giving her all she's got Captain".

"If you even think about going where no man has gone before......."

Why didn’t you ask him what he fancied rather than assuming he’d want some bum fun?

I would rebuff all sexual advances during Countryfile, however I’m old

@xpc316e

I appreciate your stance re golden opportunity, but in my experience, life just doesn't work that way.

We've had similar opportunities, but they have been filled by a chance to catch up on sleep, or do some gardening, or a chance to relax and read, or etc.

Don't get me wrong, my mindset is 99% of the time focused on sex during these times, but my DW just doesn't see it that way and to take advantage of the situation would be not because she was in the mood, but because it was expected or in some way manipulated and not natural.

I guess that is the result of having zero sex drive.

Wow, where have you been all my life?

That’s instant erection territory, so I fear there is something wrong with him!

Personally I would never refuse an invitation to sex, anal or otherwise. And if the tv program was that good I’d press record or pause!

@Anotherblokelurking

Unless it was pitty sex, done to tick a box and the background resentment made you think "you know what... no thanks, I'll pass".

We have quite an active sex life so I can only hope it was just that he wasn’t feeling it at that point.

I don’t think I’ve ever offered pitty sex. I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t into it myself and like wise as in this very case, neither will he

I am reminded of a friend's experience many years ago when his wife wanted sex, but he wanted to watch Star Trek. A compromise was reached in that they went for doggy style in the lounge with him facing the TV.

Let's hope there were no Clingons on the Starboard bow!

I've never been offered sex let alone anal, would be like a rat up a drainpipe even if Utd were just about to win the league!

The bum is an exit not an entrance for me (I am a man) and so I would decline, and in his shoes suggest other sex. I don't watch car programmes because I am not someone who feels I am below average size.

FinnGermey your last suggestion is unlikely to ever happen again, though hopefully sex will be offered to you.

"I don't watch car programmes because I don't feel am below average size" 😂

Doesn't explain my ex who
hated them, although maybe some men furtively watch them and we will never, ever know!

My ex loved car programs and was less than average, DH loves car programs and is above average.
I don’t think liking car programs reveals the size of a man

Did you have time for sex later that day?
I'm not surprised you felt rejected though. If DH is anything to go by, for men who like it it's the best thing ever.

Here's a thought, did you set the mood earlier in the day?

They say foreplay starts long before the act of sex.

Did you make him feel loved, wanted and cherished?

Did you wash the car, tidy the garage and organise the shed?

Perhaps give him a massage with no pressure or expectation that sex would follow?

Maybe run him a nice bath with a glass of his favourite wine?

Forgive me, I'm just assuming that what I so often read about how a man should get a woman in the mood for sex applies the other way round, or is it double standards?

(All tongue in cheek)

ConfusedDH you have hit the nail on the head.
No wonder he turned me down.
I basically just dropped my trousers and bent over for him. He would have felt so taken for granted.

If the shoe was on the other foot there would be outrage for sure

Are you doing enough housework OP, after working a 15 hour day.....

I’m so guilty of double standards in this site in favour of women and quite right too!

"Not all men are into anal - it's certainly not my cup of tea. "

I knew a male who said 'I consider anal sex to be filthy'. He then added 'And not in a good way' in case anyone missunderstood him.

Personally, I don't see the appeal - there's a vagina next door that is fit for purpose and in most circumstances is self lubricating.

Putting my penis where shit comes out doesn't do it for me.

confusedDH try it, enjoy it and when sitting unclench your buttocks. May be a bit of pegging May make you a bit less sanctimonious. Are you JRM and think sex is just for making babies.

@northernmonkeys100.

I have tried it, more than once and I didn't like it, is that okay with you?

Giving or taking?

Giving.

I have no desire to receive.