I have had a couple of goes in the past of being a dominant ‘mistress’ type, the guys seemed to like it but it was a long time ago, before I had kids and before divorce, disability and massive weight gain causing confidence drop.
I’m seeing a super hot guy now and we’ve been pretty much enjoying no boundaries sex. I’ve been lucky to get tied up by him a few times and we both want to switch it up and put me in the driving seat. I have retraints, I have sexy as fuck array of clothes, patent boots etc and mask all the accoutrements but I just don’t know how to start the ball rolling without feeling contrived and self conscious...
In past bondagey scenarios with others I’ve used strap ons, done some spanking , degrading/cruel/spiteful chat and behaviour, one guy wanted me to tread on his balls in heels and walk on him. I got him dressed as a bit of a ‘sissy’ and made him clean my bathroom, makes me laugh now. But also I’m a bit more enlightened now and not sure I want to be a complete bitch to someone anymore, so how can I make it hot and s&m-ey if I don’t have that side of me anymore?
The new restraints I bought from lovehoney go under the mattress and essentially are four corner straps so arms and feet. Even how to start is puzzling me? Would he be face up or down ? I’m thinking some oily massage of myself in front of him and then turn the oil onto his body but what else? He loves arse play and so do i but we do that a lot. Should he be blindfolded? Gagged? I’m stumped, previous partners have been quite prescriptive and while this guy is a hot and imaginative lover I know that he wants to take a complete backseat and let me take all the control making all the decisions and I feel a bit daunted!
Any ideas gratefully received!