Am I Asexual

[Namechangerdragon]

Name changed for obvious reason.

A friend passed comment the other day that I'm 'Asexual' and now I've looked into it I'm confused.

I've had 3 sexual partners but never had a massive libido. Never been very confident in the bedroom and very anxious about the experience. I do find men attractive and I do get all those sexual attraction feeling but get nervous about the actual act. I also feel guilty and worry about every little part after. I do initiate it more so when I've had a drink and I do enjoy it sometimes but other times it's like there's no feeling there for me. Im not massively confident with foreplay etc and even so much as kissing with tongues. I've lived a very vanilla life. I've never climaxed. I've been single for over a year now due to having a child and have not really missed sex and I don't masturbate. I'd love to have a really good fun sex life but the idea of it just gets my stomach in a knot and I could never imagine it happening.

Does this sound like I could be asexual or just anxiety. Anyone else ever felt like this and is there any help? Thanks

It does not sound as though you are asexual. If you were, then you'd be attracted to people, fall in love with them, but never have any sexual desires, or feelings. From what you say that doesn't seem to be the case. You may just be inexperienced and/or have a low libido, but whatever you are it is completely OK to be what you are.

You are under no obligation to lead your life in any way other than the way you feel you want to. Live your own life, and to heck with the boxes that people want to put you in.

It sounds as if you are not asexual at all. I suspect you are tense and with a child that is compounding things and leading to stress.

Can I suggest you invest in a vibrator. Nothing fancy, you can buy highly effective small bullet ones next to the condoms in larger branches of Boots. Masturbate regularly and generally rediscover or maybe properly discover your body and your clitoris.

The above poster is right about living your own life, but you could enjoy so much more from it and quality sex is lovely stress relief.

Foreplay? Have you been getting lots of oral? It can work wonders and take you to Venus and back.

Contreception? What are you using? Anything that messed up with your hormones doesn’t help.

Wine? Have a glass or two beforehand. He can save his wine until afterwards.

Look for that passion spark!

Have a look on www.asexual.org It's the best site for information.

But as other PP's have said get checked out physically and review your contraception meds.

Asexuality comes in all sorts of different forms. Being asexual does not mean you do not have sexual feelings or not attracted to people.