Ok so I've dabbled a bit in both genders. When I was a teen I did the usual experimenting with girls at sleepovers but I used to get attached to some. I'd sort of want one of these drunken fumbles to turn into a relationship but they always insisted that they only liked guys. I also had crushes on guys, and had sex with guys but I didn't feel that intimacy.
In my twenties I got into relationships with men, met my partner and then settled down. I still had crushes on men and women but I was faithful and generally quite happy. We had children and have bought a house.
Since the children I haven't really paid much attention to other men. Yet I've had two quite intense crushes on women.
One was a woman at my son's nursery. I found that I started hoping she was there, maybe making a bit more effort with my appearance, feeling that heart beating fast feeling when I bumped into her.
The second is a woman I now work with. I get so blustered and embarrassed around her I can't talk, I can't function. I had to take her photo in my office yesterday and it was the most intense feeling I've felt for a while. The strange thing is that both of these women are very similar, both clearly lesbians, short hair, alternative, slim and athletic.
There's a few things I've been considering. Do I fancy these women because there's a possibility (slim given the baby weight and awkwardness) that they might like me back whilst fancying straight women is actually pretty pointless? Is it that I subconsciously feel that fancying another man is cheating but this is ok in some strange way? Is it that it's something that however much I love my partner, he will never be able to provide? Is it just as simple as I fancy both genders and the two last crushes just happen to be women?
Just to add, I will never act on these whilst in a relationship.