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How to bring the sexy back?

2 replies

Waiting4mumhood · 03/03/2019 12:50

Ok so Ive been with DH for 13 yrs married for 6. Id say only in the last 4 yrs or so the sex has dwindled. We're very much still attracted to each other and when we do have sex its usually great, but there are big gaps of time inbetween each time that are just getting longer and longer. It's getting harder to initiate and taking longer to get into it because each time we've spent so long not having sex were not used to it. I think both of our libidos have taken a big hit following infertility diagnosis a yr and a bit ago (Sex will literally never get us pregnant and we really want to be parents) but they were dropping off already before that. We are both workaholics and introverts and I think because early on we were in study and academia and hours were more flexible, whereas now we are in full time work in responsible positions and we are so drained at the end of each day we've little left in the tank for each other. I dont know. Weve tried to introduce date nights, or even schedule sex once a week but it doesnt seem to happen. The problem is, initiating gets harder because if the other person doesnt want to you feel rejected and you don't want to pressure them. But if neither of us initiates it won't happen. We used to have such a vibrant sex life and I know we are older and busier but I just can't understand how sex became such a low priority for us. Any tips or advice?

OP posts:
Mimsy123 · 03/03/2019 14:54

I think in times like this, you need to leave your normal day-to-day life behind and just have time to yourselves. Book a weekend away, treat yourselves, forget about work and just have a good time together. Rekindle that romance.

NotTheFordType · 06/03/2019 00:58

Infertility can take a brutal toll on your sex life.

Have you sat down and talked with DH (not in bed) about the lack of sex? Are you physically intimate in other ways, e.g. cuddling on the sofa while watching TV?

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