I don't enjoy sex anymore

[Bambamber]

I used to love sex. I wanted it all the time, would wear sexy underwear, would send sexy texts, a bit of bondage, liked a little adventure. But then I had to go on a lot of quite strong medication for over a year, and since then it has killed my sex drive.

I never want sex. I have sex with my husband because he is patient, loving and very sensitive to the issue. He never pressures me into anything, and when we do have sex he always spends plenty of time making sure I have an orgasm. But even if I do, it is like I am completely emotionally detached. I can orgasm and then 2 seconds later I am wondering what else I need to do that day. I don't want to just not have sex as we have gone from lots of fun sex, to very occiasonal sex and it's not fair on him to be in a sexless marriage. I'm also hoping the more I orgasm, the more I will want it. But so far it's not working! I can't remember the last time I actually felt horny.

The sex we do have, I do physically enjoy. He knows what I enjoy and I always orgasm at least once. But my mind is never in the moment and I never seem to enjoy it emotionally if that makes sense?

I have also lost all confidence. Before, I would enjoy just tying him up, blindfolding him and giving him a sensual bj. But now the idea fills me with dread. I would feel silly doing it and almost ashamed. I can't even have sex with the lights on, and honestly It must be like shagging a sack of spuds for my husband.

I desperately want to get back to how I used to be. I want to be able to initiate sex and have fun with it, try new things and explore our sexuality together. It may sound silly, but it feels like a bit of me is missing. Good sex used to be so important to me, but now I would happily go without. I also fear the my husband will one day get fed up with it all, especially with how our sex life used to be.

Nothing has changed in our relationship, he has never done anything that would cause my barriers to go up and we have a good marriage. In fact I have no idea how he puts up with it! It's almost like I've completely changed since coming off my medication. I have been off the medication for a couple of years now so it's been going on a while.

Please help me feel sexy again!

So sorry to hear it and it's lovely how your husband has managed it but you really need to see your GP. Something g has clearly happened and probably from the medication. It maybe if nothing else your GP may be able to reassure you and take some pressure off you which will help it come back hopefully.

Please do something as although you are still having sex, you are not enjoying it and eventually your sex life will die off and I'm afraid you only have to read on hear that not may relationships survive. Best of luck and talk to your husband about how you feel. He sounds lovely and a keeper!

Thankyou! I thought it would be a case of seeing my GP but hoping there would be another way. The idea of speaking about it with my Dr really puts me on edge, but as you say I can't carry on like this. It's not fair on my husband or me

How are you doing OP? I was in a very similar situation to you - triggered by a hormonal treatment. Except I couldn’t have sex / physical intimacy at all, definitely no orgasms!

I’d love to say you’ll get help from your GP but I certainly didn’t, despite this being an ongoing issue for a decade.

Are you on hormonal contraception now? Any other meds? Smoking / drinking? Vitamin deficiencies? Doctors know fuck all about female sex drive sadly and they don’t care to know either.