Dp has no sex drive

[Mummysharkdoodoodoo]

And I don’t know how much longer I can cope. Absolutely love him, been together 5 years. But he has zero confidence in himself, won’t let me touch him, won’t be naked in front of me etc. Which means sex is only when he wants it probably once every two weeks. He hardly touches me. We don’t have foreplay because he doesn’t like the feel (me to him). I don’t know what to do. My confidence is so low! I know 100000% he’s not cheating, he’s been like this since day 1 but I put it down to no experience, I thought it would get better!

That's terrible for you. My dp libido seems to have sunk badly but at least I am sti getting touches and cuddles.
Are you sure he hasn't been abused in the past.

That sounds a very odd scenario both ways to me. The sex side will not improve, so you really should consider ending things, as the frustration you feel will turn into bitterness and resentment as time goes by. He’s not a sexual being, you are. Get out and live a bit.

He’s my absolute soul mate in every other way. We have a child together and I don’t want to end things.

Iv said about the abuse thing but he says no. He didn’t lose his virginity until late. I don’t know what to do, I fancy the arse off him. When we do have it it’s so passionate and like the first time again 😩

But can you live like this.
I'm having similar issue probably not so severe has you but I find it quite stressful.

My husband of 20 years has always been this way. I was deeply unhappy for years and made to feel like a nymphomaniac (his words) or worse for just wanted affection even. It’s only now I’m realising how stupid I was to allow this to be my life for 20 years. I’m leaving him. I’m done. I wish you all the best. He may be your soul mate, but seriously I don’t believe a soul mate would neglect you physically.

We're in the same boat. DP's libido steadily declined from day one to the point now, many years later where it is non existent.
I've put up with it or years and now refuse to do so any longer.
This morning we had a calm but frank conversation that resulted in us agreeing to go to sex therapy as a last hope, otherwise I was not prepared to continue in an effectively sexless marriage and that we will split up and divorce.
I'll start another thread about sex therapy as I have many questions.

Not gay? I don't mean for that to be hurtful

As my grandmother used to say:
Life is short, get your rocks off before you go!! He’s not sexual, or into you sexually. Stop deluding yourself about your situation. Move on with dignity, but in all of this, your child must come first.

Sooo we had a long talk last night. I think he has some issues stemming from his childhood. He’s 1000% not gay. We discussed how we don’t get time together anymore with 3 children, and him working shift work means he’s tired. I think he suffers with depression abit too. But we’ve promised to make more time for each other, mainly me off my phone! I know I’m constantly on it (damn mumsnet!). We sat and watched a film and a snuggle last night and we ended up having it, so that’s good!

Try and have some together time and hold hands, rub arms, etc. Just being affectionate with each other, but do it in such a way that their is no pressure or assumed goal of having sex. Let him experience the closeness of you with the added pressure of having to perform. This could help him with not always being as affectionate as you'd like, and together the 2 of you can build on it.

Interact with him like he's your best gay friend and see what happens.

He’s 1000% not gay

Oh my sweet summer child.