Anyone had success with scheduled ‘sex nights’?

[Metalhead]

DH and I have been married 10 years, and have two DDs (8 and 3). Our sex life has dwindled to about twice a month on average, and I know he’d like it more often. We’ve often said we’ll try and do it more but it never really happens, so I’ve been wondering if we should try and pick one day of the week and just say that’s when we’ll have sex. Has anyone done this successfully, or is it too regimented?

A sex therapist once pointed out to me that if you have time to sit down and watch TV together in the evenings, you probably have enough time to have sex, it's just a case of motivation.

So we did make a point of doing it instead of watching crap TV, and yes it did help to improve matters

A sex therapist once pointed out to me that if you have time to sit down and watch TV together in the evenings, you probably have enough time to have sex, it's just a case of motivation.

This, x100.

I got tired of being told, for weeks on end, "maybe tonight, maybe tonight, maybe tonight...actually, no, I'm now too tired. Maybe tomorrow."

I have a strong sex drive so this was totally unbearable. A couple of years ago I told my wife that if she didn't want to have sex with me, at least weekly, that was fine...but she absolutely couldn't stay married to me. We now have sex weekly, every Saturday night.

We agreed years ago that we would not go without for more than a week, and we've pretty much stuck to that. We don't schedule sex or always do it at the same time each week, though Sunday mornings are pretty common. There's a mutual understanding that if it's been more than 5 days or so at least one of us is likely to be dying for a shag and we shouldn't refuse unless there's a really good reason. It's kept the spark alive, we've been together nearly three decades and still have a great sex life.

Yes, we've worked ourselves out of a rut using scheduled sex (amongst other things). We try and build it up with some flirting etc. during the day and I have to say it has really worked ( as I was the one with the issue). I feel much more relaxed and my DP has been able to improve his flirty romantic side.