Am I so unusual?

[1MillionSelfiesTakenByMyKids]

I was going to post this on AIBU but not sure I'm feeling robust enough. It's not ataat, but it was inspired by a thread about porn where the general consensus was that anal sex was for male pleasure and that any women who said they enjoyed it were, I don't know, apologists or deluded or just into it because 'socialisation'.

But I do enjoy it. I've always liked it a bit but since giving birth and experiencing some minor damage I've found it difficult to experience a full orgasm without some element of anal stimulation, and as a result anal sex or DP have become a much larger part of our sex life.

I am OK with this. My DH is considerate and it's all consensual and equal etc etc so i was really shocked and thrown by the seemingly widespread opinion that anal is only ever for the benefit of the menz. Surely I'm not the only woman who actually gets pleasure from this?

Just a bit bewildered really. And not after a bun fight, hence not posting in AIBU.

I think a lot of women enjoy it. It presses different buttons I think. I missed the thread on AIBU, but it sounds like there is a misunderstanding for a lot of women or maybe some women are judging without ever having tried it or had a bad experience once. I have lots of female friends who enjoy it. One says she only actually enjoys anal sex.

Think the thread was actually in the feminist section. But thanks for replying and making me feel not quite as weird

It's not for me, but a friend of mine is the same as you - she prefers it. And she is otherwise straight up vanilla, so it's not a taboo thing for her.

Goodness me! Good sex is sex that is good for you. If you are enjoying it, rock on! I am a very rare participant; 3 times last year for example.

It has to be the right situation at the right time and with someone you can both trust and communicate with.

You have needs, it is all consential. Go ahead and enjoy and ignore silly people who are trying to tell you what you shouldn’t be doing on their own bed. And in the name of feminism too?

My wife doesnt like anal sex and it does nothing for me but a finger up her bum during oral or piv is a different matter entirely!

Correction on my post above. I meant that as a rare participant I had anal sex times last year. Not that I had sex 3 times last year! I would be crawling up the wall if that was the case.

Starlightlady i had actually read it that way. Though as this is mumsnet and a large proportion of posters therefore have small children i doubt 3 times in a year is that unusual

I love it too it's not unusual at all.

Never let others dictate to you what is right for you or otherwise. Never be pressured to do what you don’t want to or stop doing what you like. Happy sex = Happy life.

I love it too, you're not weird!

I like it more than dh. We don't do it that often as I have to be in the right mood for it but a like a few fingers used every now and then.
I've also orgasmed through anal alone but only once, wasn't expecting it it was a nice surprise!

Thank god for random strangers on the internet reassuring me I'm not weird. Just niche

Orgasms are good for you. If it gives you pleasure, go ahead! Enjoy yourself!

I do love it, but i cant just dive straight in, i have to be really in the mood but the orgasm it creates is out of this world. Youre definitely not alone!

I won't go into what really gets me in the mood mrspicklepants or I really will be outing myself as a weirdo

I tried anal with my ex, didn't enjoy it at all.

Been with a new partner for around 18 months, we have a lot of sex, a lot of ana,a lot of fun and orgasms. He is super skilled, very patient and knows exactly what he is doing. He loves it, as do I. PIV sex is also amazing, but my most intense mind blowing experiences come from anal (and with clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time is out of this world).

Some positions with anal I can't manage for too long, and I like it slow and sensual not banging away like you see in porn.

You are not alone, some women like it, some love it and some hate it. I feel very lucky to have it as a big part of my sex life.

Fot the uninitiated who think they might like to be:-

It is certainly not for everyone. It requires skill, absolute gentleness and delicacy. Be prepared to giggle if it doesn’t work out at first, use plenty of lube and, ever so slowly, back on to him, keeping within your comfort zone, at first he should be almost static and fully erect. You can then establish a gentle rhythm. If it hurts you are not doing it right.

I'm pretty open minded when it comes to trying things and have previously tried anal in relationships when I was younger and came to the conclusion it really wasn't for me.
Was then with my exH for 14 years who was very vanilla and would have cried at the thought of it 😂
I'm with someone else now and he (very gently!) introduced me to it and I now do genuinely love it
Coupled with clitoral stimulation it gives me some very intense orgasms

I think I may have stumbled across the thread the OP refers to. Well honestly!

My advice to the OP is to carry on enjoying what you enjoy and ignore the “sex police”.

A lot of gay men seem to enjoy participation too, although obviously I can’t really speak for them. But are they all being used too?

It’s not first date stuff, but take it gently and slowly with sensible precations and the sensations can be special.

I used to love it, but sadly have developed digestive problems that are worsened by anal sex :(

I still enjoy anal play especially during oral.

I think women who are vehemently against it, rather than the more sensible "I don't like it myself but hey, knock yourself out", have probably had a bad experience with a sexual partner who thought they could just bang it in without warning or preparation, causing intense pain and physical damage. And have then compounded with an emotional injury such as "all the women in porn like it".

I really enjoy it and often ask DH for it instead of PIV. I never come just through PIV, (always need clit as well) but anal I come completely hands free every time.

But I’m like you OP. When so many women say they wouldn’t ever do it, I feel a bit like I’m some kind of pervert and it’s wrong.

I know it’s not and OH gets off on the fact it’s our dirty little secret that we would never tell anyone about IRL, but he thinks that far more couples do it, it’s just the admitting it that people are reluctant to do.
So that theory works for me.....!

DH and I have never tried it. And both happily agree we never will.

I have IBS and a rectocele. So I'm really really not confident or comfortable with that part of my body being anything related to our sex life.

We have an amazing sex life and don't feel we're lacking.

But I'd never judge anyone who enjoys it. I can't quite figure out these pearl clutchers.

As long as both partners are having a good time and not hurting anyone then that's fine by me.

I don't like it simply due to the 'poo' factor. It's just not somewhere I want to insert my penis.

Tried it and just didn't like it.