Sex with a new partner?

[VirtuallyConfused]

I'm considering maybe, possibly, sleeping with someone. But I haven't been with anyone other than one person for a decade.

I'm not very body confident and have no idea what the expected standards are in sex these days. I have watched a bit of porn and it's all hairless foofs and 25 positions including anal.

Possible partner said their tastes are quite standard, but how do I make sure I'm ready to play?

Oh god, this is weird and stressful.

what sort of pre action prep does one need to do?

It sounds like you need to talk - I am sure they have similar concerns and are (like you) thinking about it.
I think you need to explain how you are feeling, and what specifics you are worried about. This will help define 'standard'.
FWIW, not all blokes are into the porn stylee of sex - ive never had anal, and have no interest in it (sounds a bit sh*tty if I am honest!), I don't do banging away, more passionate and sensual, and frankly for me it is all about how the lady is feeling - I can get off/cum easily, so when I am with someone it is about them.

Have been in the same position as you & I say just go with the flow don't overthink it..

First few times I made sure it was at my house so I could control the lighting to (well darkness) as I'm not body confident either & had my robe at the end of the bed so I could cover up quickly if I got up, also a couple of large vodkas helped

Still not body confident although partner says I'm perfect as I am but definitely more confident in asking for what I want sexually & what I'm not into.. definitely gets easier in time..

Please do not fret about whether your body is perfect enough for him. A woman who is happy in her own skin is a far more attractive proposition than some bimbo with a perfect body but who is continually wrapped up in her external appearance. Lumps, bumps, and wobbly bits in no way prevent you from being drop-dead gorgeous. I fully expect that he will be having the same insecurities as you are, so just hold hands and jump in at the deep end.

Go to bed with him if you truly want to. Laugh, have fun, and do whatever you want to do. If you don't fancy doing something, don't do it thinking that it is what men expect these days.

I was where you are 18 months ago - first baby steps after coming out of a 25 year relationship. It was (more than) fine - really absolutely no different to sleeping with a new bloke in the 1990s.

Prep - shower, good haircut, trim to neaten up the minge and some scented nice body lotion?

Oh, and condoms in your pocket/handbag so you're not fumbling around in the machine in the ladies!

Some things are over thought. You have needs and someone who can assist you to have a nice time. Relax and go with the flow.

Porn has little, if any, relation to reality. Anal should not be on the menu at this stage in a friendship. Body hair is a personal choice. For me, the only hair on my body is on my head. I don’t do that for any man; I do it for me. It also increases sensitivity. But go for your choice.

You have a lot of catching up to do. Preparation? Condoms. Toothpaste/toothbrush. Nice undies. Smile. And maybe dinner out afterwards. In my view it’s always better that way.

Purr and enjoy.

thank you all for the great advice.

It's all a bit frightening, but from distance memories, I do recall that if it feels right, then all other considerations go out the window.

He's more worried about not lasting, but at this stage I think I would take that as a compliment!

If your conversation has gone to this level it’s time for knickers down! It also confirms that you both have concerns. So it’s time to start practicing.

I'd be the same as you - but it sounds like you have a good level of rapport going with the guy. Good luck OP

I came out of a 27 year relationship with no self esteem or confidence

It has taken 3 years to get to the point of being happy with myself

I now think that if my underwear is on your floor, make me feel it’s worth it

Good luck xx