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Improving sex life

4 replies

tryingtobesexy · 02/01/2019 23:15

New Years resolution is to improve relationship with dh which has suffered with young kids.

First step is intimacy as we rarely have sex and I slob in my fluffy pjs after tea and watch tv

So

I'm going to get down there sorted I've only ever had a bikini wax once and it was painful so I've used veet since but I fancy something more daring like a Brazilian or Hollywood? Any advice?

I've just been looking at love honey and thinking about ordering some lingerie .. ideally I want classy sexy stuff ibut can't find any . Dh would not like tacky stuff

I want something to get us in the mood? Porn of some sort which isn't graphic! Any ideas?

Toys?

I am committed to my cause!! Suggestions welcomed

OP posts:
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MarieG10 · 03/01/2019 06:44

I would take it gradually and don't do everything at once. I would agree about stopping slobbing in PJs as a norm, although you should feel ok on the odd occasion. Think about what you are wearing as more casual stuff so he starts seeing you more as his wife and lover as opposed to purely as a mum.

I have found that maintenance down below (and elsewhere for that matter) is a great for keeping interest and for you feeling sexy if that's what you like . I used to have a high bikini line wax and then sometimes shaved the rest which DH loved. My beautician, once I got to know her better, cottoned on that sometimes I was shaving higher than she waxed and she asked and suggested I try a higher or full wax which as I felt relaxed I did. My trick was to take a soluble painkiller 30 mins - 1 hr before my appointment and I found it really helped although after a couple of times I didn't bother and I found it ok. I think the trick is a beautician that does full intimate waxing regularly. I stay fully waxed now and I have got really used to being like that and prefer now, DH definitely prefers, not just in bed but visually when seeing me with no clothes on.

Perhaps once you have done that, combine with a nice set of underwear and after a month or so get some more slightly risqué stuff. A previous OP in another thread suggested Bluebella and I have bought some from there which are really nice. If you have high cut knix/things being fully waxed is much better. If you try the tasteful open fronted/crotchless type it is a good combination

Suppose finally...porn. Maybe see how things go before introducing it unless you fee really comfortable and he does. He may just feel like you are going from zero to everything and you don't want him having performance anxiety in bed!

Best of luck and keep us updated on the efforts. Hopefully he will appreciate you more in that way. I find keeping things exciting and intimate that way really works for our relationship and for him to not just see me as a mum to our children

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PatPhoenix · 03/01/2019 23:48

Try Pour Moi or Blubella for lingerie? I've ordered from the latter and was very happy with the quality, though in fact in the end I found a Treasure Me chemise on love honey which was the ticket. And I wouldnt give up on m&s, they have some nice stuff.

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Arcadia · 04/01/2019 15:24

Ooh watching with interest, I am thinking along the same lines as you OP! We didn't really have any sex over Christmas as DP was ill then I had my period but we had a good one last night 😉. I am also thinking about a full wax but am worried about the pain and the intimacy of the labia part! Needs to be someone I feel comfortable with. DP was never that keen in going down on me and I realised he wasn't into it so haven't forced the issue but I miss it and am hoping it might make it more likely that he will venture down! He's a bit unadventurous generally but I am thinking about some kind of sex toy to incorporate, any suggestions? Don't want to make him feel redundant though!
That bluebella site is really nice will try that.

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MarieG10 · 05/01/2019 17:31

Arcadia. Do you have a beautician you use regularly? If so talk to her and ask her if she regularly does full waxes and just explain your worries. Mine was brilliant. She broached with me as she realised I was shaving higher after a normal bikini line wax and she was so matter of fact about it...said she does all the time and really reassured me and I'm so glad I did

I know some on here go to like a waxing salon in which that's all they do, but I don't have any around me so probably is big cities.

Only think with waxing is that you do have to have some regrows here before your next appointment but it avoids the shaving every day scenario

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