I can't do on top im so crap at it

[Chickenedout]

I just can't do it 😪 I get hot my legs get tired I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm overweight (working on that though) just makes me feel so lazy and selfish , I never have really enjoyed it , just worried it will put DP off as he is the one always doing most of the work . Any tips ??

firstly don’t worry about your weight in my experience our other halves don’t notice the things we get anxious over. being on top is the best way for women to orgasm through penetration, i’m still working on that ;-)
be confident as men love women on top. move up and down slowly tilt your your hips slightly. it helps if he is in rhythm with you so don’t blame yourself if he isn’t it’s not all up to you. i think you may be overthinking it so relax and enjoy. it makes my hips ache too so you are not alone

I just get knackered so quickly and feel like I'm a huge sack of sounds on top of him 😐😯

Try different leg positions, inside/outside ... lean forward and support with your arms. Make sure to be (for him) already quite turned on.
Don't try to be a 'jackhammer' - that will be rapidly tiring (though it's good for women to realise it does take some effort for the men!). And a bit of sweating can be nicer than you may realise. Try for slower movements, and some pelvic floor contractions.
Try reverse cowgirl at some point.
Try with him sitting in a chair - similar position, but may be easier for you, though.
Good luck.

Rather than trying to go up and down when not try rocking your hips backwards and forwards as well
My wife says that rubs her in a way that normal up and down doesn't she also tells me to keep my hips still as well

There is no right or wrong way what ever works and feels good for you both

I completely agree OP!

My DH has mentioned that he would like it but no.
I am 5 stone heavier that I was when I met him with saggy pancake tits, I would feel so unbelievably self conscious and ugly.

Yes, the getting out of breath, I hear you!
Most unattractive and although I someone earlier said about sweat being nice, no, no and no!
Soon as I start getting sweaty that is it for me, libido is gone.

Thanks for the tips , I feel bad making him do all the work yes, and he prompts me to get on top so I feel obliged ifswim to at least give him a rest but I honestly feel massive ,(well I am) and worried I'm crushing him 🤪 I'm a very anxious and shy person when it comes to my body etc , I've literally worried about it since I tried on top the other night thinking he will soon realise I'm shit and run .... 😐

I think he's likely to be positive that you are trying. But you will need to communicate, in the near future, that you are not comfortable with it. Otherwise may become a repeated request. Maybe ask if there is anything else he might like, and which might be more positive for you?

Firstly I think you need to relax about him ‘doing all the work’, I really don’t think he’ll be seeing it as work! And you can be as involved and participating even if he’s on top or behind.

On top: I definitely find grinding rather than up and down easier (especially now I’m pregnant).
Then it’s just about finding your rhythm which takes the both of you. Try getting him to hold your hips and push up slightly as you push down and then start slowly moving in a circular motions. I find either leaning forwards slightly, putting my hands on his chest and him bending his legs up behind me or me leaning backwards slightly and putting my hands on the bed work better than sitting up straight.
Confidence wise, it’s not something that bothers me, even pregnant. But you could try with him sitting up and you on his lap (nice sofa position) that way he can’t really see you. Or wear a baby doll style lingerie or something. Although I think for most men the view is the best part and he will obviously see and feel you when he’s on top so I’d try not to worry about that (I do know that’s easier said than done though).

Thanks for all your advise I guess because i haven't been on top for years I'm just not used to it

Top Tip: climb aboard and then let him make the motion in the ocean! I have almost ended up in A&E with women who’d watched porn and thought all they had to do was bounce up and down as fast as they could!!!! Slooow grinding is the real key to mutual pleasure: he knows you’ not going to damage him, you can rub your way to where you want to go. In short, slooooow, easy, gentle......that’s the way!!

You could try asking your partner to sit up when you are on top and wrap your arms around him. You can then kiss him and grind into him at the same time. It’s amazing and I can climax very quickly this way, which is a shame as I would love it to last for a while.

Going up and down is really hard and I don’t seem to have the power in my legs to do this for long. Grinding backwards and forwards seems to work for us both.

Right I shall give the grinding a go , will he get sensation from that tho ?

Oh yes

My dp agrees with @Jason118. It’s about mutual pleasure though, so it needs to work for you too. Honestly it’s worked slightly differently with different men for me, so there’s no one way that works. Just have some fun and try some stuff out.

will he get sensation from that tho ?

He sure will on top is OH's preference so for thirty years I've laid on my back and never once thought of England! Also it has the advantage that if I lose an erection, she can grind her clit against my pubic bone and still get pleasure.

I sympathise with those who worry about their body image. OH is larger than me with various lumps and bumps, same as me. Not a problem.

I think it was Emma Thompson who once said, 'men don't mind what woman look like naked', because that means he's going to get what he wants. Good luck.

I get pleasure from it but not enough sensation to make me orgasm, which is fine midway through to slow things down a bit for me. The best aspect is watching my partner find the right spot for her, knowing that she’s getting maximum pleasure, and she will usually orgasm at least twice on top - any man who doesn’t enjoy being part of that isn’t worth shagging!

Emma Thompson was right about how you look naked, we are just glad you’re in the room!

I used to feel like that, also overweight but recently I climbed up there and quite frankly, didn't want to get off!

If you get tired, slow down a bit, lean over and kiss him or shove your boobs in his face to be kissed etc then start up again!!

Don't be ashamed of wobbling, we all wobble and you won't care once you get your rhythm going!!!

Get up there girl!! You can do it!!

Practice makes perfect, just like any other physical activity it doesn't matter where you start from - keep at it and try to go for a bit longer each time even if its just for a few seconds more. Other tips that help are doing air squats and also pacing yourself (as already mentioned) so don't go too hard too soon.

I can have an orgasm alone in the dark without touching myself. I imagine f*ing, and when my partner climaxes, I ejaculate.

Does anyone else prefer masturbating to intercorse?

The OP last responded in 2018. She has probably sorted this out or is underneath someone by now having given up.

What is the point of trawling MN and dragging up ancient posts? Surely there are better ways for people to get their kicks.

I would imagine that Tommyscock is just another of those hairy handed sad fuckers who trawls the sex board trying to get off. 🙄
I don't think 'intercorse' is on the cards for him.