How long before he can go again?

[Username24682]

NC... long time poster though, just trying to be sensitive as DP knows I’m on here!
I’m in a new ish relationship with a lovely man in his early 30s. Our sticking point is that I have a very high sex drive, whereas his is low. I understand this and don’t pressure him into sex etc but if we’ve already had sex that day he can’t cum again for a good 8-12hours after.
I’ve never experienced this before - it’s always been 1-2hrd with previous partners but I don’t want to flag it and make him self conscious if it’s totally normal. Is it something we/I should worry about?

Varies with me, 1-2 hrs is typical, degree of 'hardness' improves at the 2hr mark. But I'm 50's so need to factor that in.

8-12 hours is entirely possible for someone with a lower sex drive.

Would someone with a low sex drive want to do it again so soon?

When I was in my twenties, I was good to go again in less than 20 minutes. As I have aged, the time has stretched and nowadays it is usually the next day before I am up for it. I am 62 this week.

Sounds normal, I’m sure when I was that age the best I could manage was once at bedtime then again in the morning. Nearly two decades on I need at least 24 hours. Just happy it still works at all TBH!

TMI - but does he want more sex & just not getting hard, or is it that he isn't interested until the next day? If the former, have you tried oral - IME it's remarkable effective at perking things up in a 'spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak' kind of situation... (

What Dandy said!

My dh (42) can get hard nearly straight away after but 24 hours after for cumming

Mid thirties and bf can go again literally after two minutes. I'm a very lucky girl!

Been with my DP since he was 25 and he's always needed at least a day.

I don't think there's a rule as such!

Takes a minute to get my BF hard again 😆 i too have a very high sex drive

You haven't mentioned frequency, if you guys are at it everyday then yes YABU but if its just a weekly event then he should be able to go for seconds after a couple of hours if he hasn't done it for a few days.

Apart from that mental arousal plays a huge part as that's what leads to the physiological changes, how your body responds is dependant on physical fitness and age. You can also throw in lack of sexual self confidence & stress in the mix as mental arousal inhibitors.

After DP has orgasmed it is about 3 hours before he is erect enough to penetrate me properly. We find though that if I am wanting to go for a second attempt we chat about sex, celebs we might fantasize about, do really engaging foreplay etc. It takes the pressure off and often DP will be erect faster than I expect and so i get to experience him penetrating again. I much prefer the second penning as DP lasts much better second circuit!

I've always had a short refractory period, 20-30 mins. However, learning the equivalent of kegels means a man can separate orgasm from ejaculation, so no refraction until you're exhausted!

I can go again in about 10-15 mins in my 40's.

And hang a wet dressing gown off it. LOL

DP is 65 - he can manage to come again in the evening if he has come in the morning, but says it's a better sensation if he waits till the next day. He can get another erection after half an hour or so, but is so zonked out that he can't do much with it

He's happy to play with me though

Often case with my DP. He will get hard again but not necessarily wanting to DTD to me as he has had his moment. But he is considerate and will help me orgasm again even though he doesn't wish to until next evening. Horses for courses.

It's both encouraging (yet personally saddening) that there's plenty of women out there that would like to go again shortly after having sex.

I think an awful lot depends on the context and degree of excitement it provides. Really excited guys can apparently keep going after ejaculation, reaching one or two more happy moments later.

It's both encouraging (yet personally saddening) that there's plenty of women out there that would like to go again shortly after having sex.

They don't (usually) make a mess after orgasm either. Pfft, physiological differences! It's definitely fun, and enjoyably painful, learning to separate orgasm and ejac as a guy though, lots of jack & edge.

What (on earth) are you talking about?

Head (in) the oven!!!!

It's completely individual. There may be a loose correlation with age, physical fitness, sex drive, and stamina.

It may also vary greatly from one day to the next!

I might have sex up to 8 times a day but one big orgasm (which I only get through clitoral stimulation, not through penetration) can wipe me out for the rest of the day, especially if it's particularly intense.

30s, 8-12 hours in between? I'd be off to the docs.

I'm in the next decade and it's about 15-20 between 1st and 2nd, and about 20-30 for subsequent.