Still sore 10.5 months pp

[KorbenDallas]

I had my DD 10.5 months ago. 2nd degree tear and episiotomy.

Whoops, posted too hastily!

As I was saying... sex was understandably sore when we eventually got round to trying. But it is still almost just as sore as that first time. The last couple of times (over a period of several months) we’ve tried but I’ve had to stop sharpish cause it’s too much.

I also have zero sex drive, and when we do get round to it I’m never in the mood, I just going along with for partners sake.

I’m still breastfeeding and have heard that it can have an effect on your libido, but I’m more concerned about the pain during penetration. Has anyone else experienced this for this length of time? Did it get better?

Hi OP,

Congratulations on your baby. I went through exactly the same experience after having my DS. 2nd degree tear and ventouse delivery. You need to go and raise this with your GP in the first instance (or check if your practice has a GP who specialises in women's health issues). I think this is more common than we're led to believe. The GP should be able to examine you and if necessary refer you to a gynecologist. Don't be afraid to insist on a referral if you feel you're getting short shrift. After a referral to a gynecologist I was diagnosed with vestibulodynia (pain at the entrance) and given various pieces of advice on how to deal including using Lidocaine cream (a topical anesthetic) on the painful part.

When you expect pain you get pain and often your body tenses sub-consciously making the problem worse (did for me anyway!), but with understanding the condition I came to relax more and it did get better and now it's a long-ago problem. Check in with your GP in the first instance I recommend a browse of the vulvalpainsociety.org also.

Good luck to you, I remember this period very well but there is help available and it will come to an end. xx