Partner doesn’t come (for hours)

[AloneLonelyLoner]

I’ve started a new sexual relationship with someone I care for deeply. Love in fact. We’ve only had sex once so far, but have discussed a lot. It takes him hours to come. Hours. And apparently it has always been like that even when he was a teen. The sex we had so far, which was crazily long in my experience (im in my 40s and have had plenty of partners), was great. I loved it! Can I ask how common this is with men, is it a problem, what things can I do to know he’s enjoying it? Etc etc.

This is often a side effect of anti-depressants, but it sounds like this is a life long situation.

I guess it's no different to the female orgasm - some are lucky enough to orgasm quickly and easily, some take ages, some never do.

I've had this before, but it has been down to relationship issues in the background where I simply can't get into it and often give up after a while. My previous partner said one of her previous partners had never had an orgasm or ejaculated in his life but had regular sex which just ended when she said she'd had enough.

I think the easy answer to your question would be to reverse genders and pretend it is you that takes a long while to orgasm - what you you like to happen?

Thanks for your answer. If it were me (and it often has been in the past) I would just masturbate afterwards (in private probably). He reckons it takes him about 3 hours to come and I’m not sure I can do sex for 3 hours without going into some kind of marathon training regime.

Are his expectations to have sex for 3 hours (or however long it takes) every time? If it is, this could cause issues down the line when predictability and repetitiveness kicks in, as you'll ultimately get bored and sore, especially if you've climaxed a long time earlier.

How would you feel if he finished himself off alone, allowing you to get rest/sleep etc?

I do sympathise though as my wife takes forever to orgasm and often can't and it does put a dampener on things and makes me feel I can't satisfy or please her sufficiently.

Humping away for ages is really boring, that’s the reason many couples prefer to do other things, finishing with some wham-bam stuff.

I think this is called "anorgasmia". Anyhow its down to reduced sensation. Could be due to lower than average libido, although if he doesn't have trouble with erections maybe not. Too complicated a condition to diagnosis here unfortunately, he'd need to see an expert.

It's called Delayed Ejaculation or Retarded Ejaculation. It can be a significant problem. There can be physical or psychological underlying causes. It's not always treatable. Has he sought medical help as a first step? Is he saying this is a recent or long-standing problem?

I dated a man a few months ago who "treated" me on one occasion to forty minutes of penetration from behind. FORTY MINUTES of doggie. Perhaps this is how everyone else has sex and I'm just pathetic, but suffice to say I was bored and sore long before the end...

Thanks for your replies. It has always been like this apparently, but as pp says I think it may become difficult, sore or just boring to be doing hours of actual humping each time. He has a high sex drive I would say and would like to do this every day.

3 hours every day?! Can you suggest he retires early to get started and you can just join in for the main event?