Why can't I orgasm?

[JudgyOldBag]

I've always had problems orgasming - for many years I thought I never could. I had to train myself to be able to do it myself, and then gradually I managed to learn to get there with my ex partner.

I have a new partner now... and im finding it almost impossible to orgasm. He is doing every thing right, and he's very attentive and perseveres. But every time I think I'm nearly there... it goes away again.

Last night, I was on the edge of orgasm 4 times, and each time, it just slipped away from me each time.

I've always needed mental triggers to let myself go, but I find myself searching my mind for a mental trigger with him and it just doesn't happen.

Can anyone suggest any techniques for learning to let go??

Stop focusing on the Big O and enjoy the pleasure, relax and focus on the feelings you have. Try only focus on that (try not to think to much, just feel) and it will come back.

Enjoy!

When you were training yourself, did you use fantasy to tip yourself over the edge? If so you have also trained yourself to only orgasm through fantasy in which case you have diverted the focus from the senses to the mind.
I would suggest re-focussing on the senses through tantric methods. Either tantric massage with partner, sexual meditations with partner and without partner. Tantric showers in build up to massage or meditations and to increase anticipation.
The senses being all senses. Smell, Touch, Taste, Sound, Sight. Note!! no mention of the mind.