I know you are all going to tell me to LTB. DH and I are struggling lately and he keeps saying sex is more important than I am. He says I knew this when I married him and I trapped him. I can't keep up with his demands and as a result he keeps saying I'm not normal. Sex has never been a big deal to me.
I have been lying down and thinking of England a lot and I have been trying to please him but I can't. Sex feels like an ordeal. We argued about contraception. He won't wear condoms and refused to have a vasectomy. I was on the pill but hated how it made me feel. Anyway I know I could say no but I love him and I keep thinking that if I keep going maybe I will have some kind of sexual awakening.
I do frequently orgasm very quickly but it's not a sensation I crave or need and think it's a bit overrated. If I try and give pleasure to DH it takes him absolutely ages to come. Blow jobs take up to an hour. He sulks if I don't do it and often wants them several times a week and sometimes before I've got dd up for nursery.
He said I should be putting his needs before the kids.
He thinks I need educating sexually and learn to know what I like. Ie he thinks if I use a vibrator on myself I might be able to have big screaming orgasms instead of the quiet ones I have now. I have never used sex toys. I spend half my life with a knob in my face so covering a plastic mechanical one in pink glitter wasn't going to make it any more appealing. Anyway I got a small bullet one and it's not been out of the packet. Yesterday he had a go at me for not using it. I said when would I have the time and he says I should be working on myself while ds naps. Are you lot doing this?
The thing is DH has these outbursts when he is in contact with a particular friend. He's a dead beat dad. Living off benefits and not paying child maintenance but constantly bragging about his conquests and lifestyle. DH seems to always act up and threatening to leave after he's been in contact with this friend. It's like he's selling DH his lifestyle.
I have done everything DH wanted. And so far nothing works. He says we're incompatible but I think he's depressed. He admits that and he thinks that having lots of sex is the answer he believes all happy couples are at it constantly.