emotional affair

[pottinggranny]

After being together for over 40yrs my partner went looking for an ex-lover she is in her late 70's, I am 10 years younger than her. I came across emails sent by him saying he never stopped loving her.
I know there is no fiscal contact has she lives in another county. I have confronted him, asking him why he is doing this, he said he met her years before he met me and his relationship with her has nothing to do with our relationship. I have told him it hurts me, his reply was it is all in my head and get over it.
Am I overreacting

Am I overreacting

Depends whether or not this is impacting your relationship in a way that you are being ignored or being treated badly because of this new found friendship.

I think he is trying to recapture his lost youth. In her eyes, your DH will still be the young man she romped with all those years ago. The reality of life will not affect their interactions.
I therefore think this will not impact on his relationship with you.
However, from your point of view his behaviour is disrespectful and slightly ridiculous, so I would imagine he needs to withdraw pretty quickly or risk alienating you.
I don’t think you are over-reacting.

The fact is, on a very fundamental way, what he is doing affects you. It hurts you and he has dismissed your concerns and hurt. It’s his job to reassure you and if you are unhappy with his behaviour, to stop it. I would be very hurt in your situation. It’s not too much to ask to have emotional fidelity.

What do you think she is getting from him emotionally that she's not getting from you?

I have a bit of experience with this and I found that that's basically what it comes down to..... Also if they could sleep together they probably would.