What is the name for someone who buys sex?

[MinnieMannie]

It just occurred to me, (whilst stirring baked beans as you do ). A person selling sex is called a "prostitute" but what is the buyer called? surely there should be some equally defining noun for it?

Christian- I invite you to tell my four children how innocent and honest paying for sex is, tell my youngest why he can’t go on his school residential, tell my dad why she can’t have dance lessons anymore. Perhaps you’d also like to explain why their parents can barely be in the same room? But you are right- paying for sec is of course a very honest act.

My dd not my dad.

Newerversion-that’s a horrible position to be in and it is of course not right or fair. I’m not condoning deceit at all. I was referring to the honesty in the transaction between the service provider and the service buyer. If the buyer showed the same level of honesty with his or her partner by, for example, having a frank conversation, then they would perhaps find a viable solution that both are happy with. This may include separation, allowing them to move on and look for a more fulfilling relationship. What many feed is that the grass is often not greener, so there is not always a happy ending. I think it is appalling when the failings of adults impact on their children, that is simply unacceptable.

Yes it is. Also, your simplistic view of the reasons men buy sex is a very understandable but sadly isn’t reality. Many men buy sex simply because they can, not because they are (poor little dears) lacking in sex at home or because their marriages have lacked intimacy for years. Some men just buy sex as an add on, because they are so lost in a world of porn and feel it is their right to live out their fantasies. There is nothing honest about any prostitution at all- if there was then it wouldn’t be hidden and cloak and dagger. It is though.

People, men and women, choose to pay for sex to fulfil a need that is not being met elsewhere. This is not a simplistic view, it’s plain truth. Some don’t have partners, some do, but their needs/desires/wants don’t coincide with those of the partners.
Some feel unable to even confide in their partners for fear of losing them.
The reality of many relationships is that people stay together because it’s easier and less daunting than the alternative. We all need to be more open about our feelings, rather than letting frustration and bitterness build. The corporate woman who pays a male escort to accompany her to dinner and satisfy her physical needs afterwards is engaging in a straightforward transaction, transparent and honest both ways. That she may be doing this without her husband’s knowledge reflects the inadequacy of that relationship: he may not be interested any more, she may now find him fat, balding and unattractive ...who knows? Would she be better off going for a divorce, breaking up her family, disentangling finances and everything else? I’m not so sure and neither would she be. I think a pragmatic approach works best in this life. We all need to find a way which works in our situations.

My opinion Christian, the number of women involved in prostitution who are doing it freely and enthusiastically is a very small percentage. Many are trafficked or pimped. Many others are doing it out of desperation. The odds of a user of prostitutes exploiting someone in a vulnerable situation is very high and I can't think of any way a man can ensure a prostitute is not a victim of trafficking, pimping or desperation.

As to the attitude of the customer, there is an old joke that perhaps sums it up:

"You don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to fuck off quietly as soon as you're finished".

That's meant to be funny? To me it is anything but. It sums up the attitude of men who think that using prostitutes is acceptable. They have no interest in the person, the human being. The woman is just a life support system for a vagina. That is probably their attitude towards women in general as well.

We can all have opinions and we are all entitled to them. I will never judge anyone until I have walked in their shoes, least of all those who buy and sell sex through freedom of choice on their part. The trafficking of men and women, boys and girls, for such purposes is disgusting of course, representing one of some many horrific things that happen in this world. The psychology of all this is genuinely interesting, but it’s a world that I’d never venture in to under any circumstances for fear of the health risks associated with it alone, never mind my perception of the morality of it. In fact, I’ve never indulged in casual sex for the same reasons!!

women pay for sex too - They really don't. Women tend to find the idea of having sex with someone who isn't attracted to them creepy. I've yet to meet a woman who's paid for sex, however I know several men who have.

Some women absolutely pay for sex, just like some men do, but the proportion of women who do this is lower than it is for men. Whether or not you know of one is entirely irrelevant.

I will never judge anyone until I have walked in their shoes

Really? You hold that line for murderers, paedophiles, rapists, terrorists, people traffickers too do you? I doubt it. I suspect you've managed to convince yourself it's a largely victimless activity. It's anything but. Prostitution is an industry that brings misery to millions of women and it wouldn't exist without those willing to pay for sex.

Some women absolutely pay for sex - Evidence? Perhaps you might link to a site where us laydeez discuss our paying for sex hobby?

Christian, your views are completely deluded, although you can keep telling yourself that you're right. You certainly won't find justification for them here on MN. I also doubt you could go to an "extreme" site like Fetlife and receive justification - in fact, I know you couldn't.

Are you married/LTR/dating, Christian? Visited a prostitute? My stance on this is diametrically opposed to yours. With your viewpoint (and you're by far not the only person to share it, millions of men do) you're reinforcing the cheating that men do. "I'm not getting laid at home" is not a reason to go screw a sex worker, it's a very weak excuse. An excuse that's complete bull. Your viewpoint also reinforces prostitution and all that goes with it, like drug use, homelessness, STIs, physical assault, the emotional scars, and much more.

Wow, such hostility and crassness!
I’m not an advocate of prostitution, or whatever we’re calling it, I’m ambivalent to it. I think people, men and women, who choose to get involved, can get on with it.
That’s their business. I don’t judge them, it’s their free choice. Why can’t you accept some women pay for sex? To suggest otherwise is plainly ridiculous. And so what if they do, what’s the problem? Does it put a spanner in the works?

Simplysteve- perfectly put.

Some men buy sex just because they can- no reason other than that.

• I’m not an advocate of prostitution, or whatever we’re calling it, I’m ambivalent to it. I think people, men and women, who choose to get involved, can get on with it. That’s their business. I don’t judge them, it’s their free choice*

Free choice?! Haha. The viewpoints that you are using are caustic and designed to provoke a reaction imo. Please go post your thoughts about prostitution on Fetlife, the responses you'd receive there would be most....illuminating.

I don’t know what site you’re referring to and will not be visiting.

Be careful not to put words in my mouth.

My views are most certainly not caustic or controversial, far from it.

I don’t shy away from the truth, however unpalatable that is to some.

I’m off to make some tea and toast for my wife!

Night Night.

Well, you seem to think you know everything about why men pay for sex when in fact you are most certainly wrong in very many cases. As unpalatable as it may be for you to hear- some men pay for sex just because they can and the feel entitled. Not because they are lacking or even because they are in any way unfulfilled. Just because they are greedy, selfish and morally defunct.

Why can’t you accept some women pay for sex? Maybe I would if you linked to some research supporting this. Go on, amaze me.

Why do we need research?
Google “women who pay for sex” and have a read. It happens, of course it does. It’s fine with me.

Men who pay for sex are called John.
Women who pay for sex are called Jane.

Some woman DO pay for sex in German the busiest brothal in the town i used to live in was one that catered only to female clients (and i don't simply mean lesbians) Most of there clientele were woman seeking men.

Just because in your social circle dont pay for sex / find it creepy does not mean every female in the world does. in the Netherlands, Germany, Australia prostration is legal and is HEAVILY state controlled with welfare checks in place and strict conditions that need to be followed.

As much as i hate seeing human bodies as commodities some people actually enjoy having sex with many many people and if they can get paid for doing something they want to do i am fine for it.

You make it legal and controlled YOU CUT DOWN ON ILLEGAL PRACTICES of the kidnapping and sex smuggling etc

Kerb crawlers if they have a vehicle.

I used to know a couple of prostitutes, high class ones, they called the men clients,or guests if they were regular and paid well.

SpamChaudFroid wow. Horrible reading but very impactful. The faces really drive it home.

It makes hard reading doesn't it dragon? Not surprising that most women suffer PTSD after working in prostitution. I wonder if all these men who are apparently servicing women all over the place, (according to some posters) would be affected in the same way. Probably not...