Sex party - did it affect your relationship?

[lifebeginswhen]

I’ve NC for this for fairly obvious reasons!!

I’ve been with my DP for 6 months. We are both fairly adventurous and have talked about going to a sex party together. We are as yet undecided about it, both of us have some reservations, but both really like the idea of it.

Has anyone been as part of a couple, and did it have any effect on your relationship? We are both in agreement that we wouldn’t do it if it would ruin what we have together, but as I’ve not done this before I’m not sure if that would be likely to be the case.

I suppose its one of those things - you’ll never really know until you try it. And then it might prove a disaster or not! But sute for it will change things one way or another.

It’s whether it’s worth the risk, as you are right, I won’t know unless/until I try

By "sex party" I'm assuming you mean either private party in someone's home with people you know and trust, or a swinging type club with people you don't know or are willing to get to know!
Both are good fun if approached with caution, but an open mind.
Bottom line is this. You can choose to play with your partner only, in private ( kind of defeats the point of being with others!) play with your partner solely, but in the presence of others nearby, or if the mood takes you, play with others too.
Discuss the options carefully before you go, be prepared to change your mind and keep communicating with each other while you're there.
They can be wonderful fun, and bring you closer together. Be honest with each other and rarely have I seen or heard of any bad experiences.

Thanks maccax. Yes it would be a party where we wouldn’t know any other people.

Sorry basically you are saying talk, talk, talk, set “rules” and boundaries before you go but be open to the possibility of those changing once you are there?

I have so many “what ifs”!

We had discussed how we would deal with a situation, for example, playing with someone who was keen to play. I looked at her, she gave me the nod, and all was good. If we hadn't talked the options through before, that would have been either awkward or a no until we chatted about it later .
That help?

Yes that does help. Thank you.

maccax can I ask what may be a ridiculous question? If, as a couple, you play with other people, does anyone use condoms?

Clubs, for penetration yes, 100%
Illogically, for Oral, not always.

Only exception for us is trusted close friends.

We had talked about it for a while and got roped into one while staying in a hotel far from home. It was sobering to say the least, not sexy in the slightest. We didn’t partake, but we did enjoy each other more than usual later. Don’t do it, better to get to know your partner better, or find a FWB for some fun as required!

Christian what didn’t you enjoy about it? Was it because you weren’t 100% about doing it in the first place?

The others were not physically attractive to us, it was a non-starter.
The reality of it all is pretty sad, the health risks would be an issue too. Think about that. I also think you’d be mad to do this in such a young relationship, you should be banging each other daily at your stage. Don’t do it, it’s really not worth it!

We did it after about 5 months of seeing each other. Went into it with lots of talking, agreed that we were prepared it might go tits up and if it did we would chalk it up to one of life's learning curves and not repeat it. We both promised to take responsibility for the decision to try it out, no blaming each other after the fact etc. We also agreed a safe word to use if either of wanted to bail out at any time, no matter how far into any shenanigans we were. If either of us used it, we would both stop immediately and regroup.

Turned out to be great fun, sexy and brought us closer together. We still swing occasionally 4.5 years on. Yes we have used our safe word successfully and we have had a few experiences that we wouldn't repeat, but on balance it has been a hugely positive and entertaining thing to do together.

Been to a few and it enhanced our relationship no end. The thing is to keep it anonymous don't swap phone numbers and never meet the third parties again.