boobs, pregnancy and breastfeeding

[ladycarlotta]

hi all. I'm 19 weeks with my first baby, and the change to my breasts has been pretty huge already - gained about 7 inches on the bust, they're sore and tender and have a load of stretchmarks which I find depressing.

I've always thought my breasts were among my best physical features, and during my relationship with DP, they have been quite focal to foreplay - he likes them, but it's mostly about me: until I'm properly turned on, I much prefer my boobs to be touched than anything below the belt. It's not a huge fetish or anything, they're just sensitive and I find it a really pleasurable way of getting going. I think I'd freeze if he went straight for the genitals.

Anyway, I'm feeling increasingly disconnected from my boobs. I barely recognise them as mine any more; I feel pregnancy has already kind of wrecked them, and I'm concerned that when I have the baby - am planning to BF - this will only get worse. I'm anxious that we won't be able to navigate a new sex life for ourselves, that there will be nothing for either of us to like about my body, that I won't be able to get turned on any more... etc.

I'm not sure what I'm asking, I suppose just wondering whether anyone has felt similar/how you have coped with sex after kids. Presumably people do it again eventually.

I think you're way overthinking this, calm down your boobs were made to store milk and feed a baby!

Sure. That's not really what I'm worried about. They also do other things, and I'm sad about losing a bunch of my sexual identity.

In my experience, normality resumes once breastfeeding stops. I find having my boobs touched a huge turn on, they're really sensitive. I have a big chest anyway, so they do tend to get tender during my cycle. Like you when I was pregnant they were so sore I could barely stand fabric on them and had to sleep in a sports bra otherwise I was in agony the whole time.

I'm back to how I was before I had DS, he is now 4. It takes time, they look different, but they do the same job for me!

Thank you unequivocally that does help to know. I guess we'll figure it out. I didn't ever consider how I'd find pregnancy so physically consuming in all these ways.

For me, pregnancy and breastfeeding didn't affect how I felt.
I was able to separate that from my breasts being part of my sexual identity and still enjoyed the sexual aspect of them.
I think when I was in the moment the thought of their functional use didn't cross my mind.