Sub man - I need a few tips

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Yo,

My otherwise very very alpha male bf comes across as exceptionally vanilla compared to his overall personality and I’ve very gently snuck in a few test comments and lines of conversation to see what his reaction was as I’ve started suspecting he’s into “submission” situations. Not asked him direct questions - more like snuck in some innuendo and here’s what’s come out:

1. his flagship sexual experience was a woman completely having her way with him. This also included a lot of reassurance from her to him
2. he’s seemingly not into pain but was curious about 50 shades
3. I strongly think he’s not told any woman what he truly wants ever - he’s very quiet in bed and goes off into his own world
4. he’s visual, likes kinky boots, collars
5. he spends a lot of time pleasing me

I want to push his boundaries a little to see what happens. Problem here is I’m kind of a sub/brat kind of girl so where do I start? Showing up for sex dressed up in bandage gear and demanding to be called The High Priestess seems a little overkill 😂

*bondage not bandage ffs

Google 'upgrade your mojo'. It is a questionnaire that you both take and it reveals areas that you are both willing to explore. Anything that you declare as 'no way' is simply not revealed to your partner. It is exceptionally well-designed and can give incredible insights into what your partner wants.

Thank you although I would find it incredibly awkward to propose taking a questionnaire

As a man who sometimes switches … You don't need to go into full bondage or anything like that. Simply take control. Offer him no choice: Tell him how you want him on the bed; tell him what you are going to do to him, and what you will require him to do to you. See from his responses what works for him, if he is not able to verbalise it, then check back: "Oh, you liked that, did you?" It's about your control of him, not about torture dungeons or anything like that. Once he's happy submitting, you can take it from there.

Agree with OneThread, but start when you're out together, preferably in a noisy atmosphere with friends. Whisper in his ear, "When we got home, if you do exactly as I say, you'll have the time of your life". As you close the front door, tell him to go upstairs and wait for you.

Then let your imagination take over. No need to dress up. And if he takes to it, perhaps after a few months you can tell him it's his turn to be in charge, thus you get your sub side satisfied. Switching for those who enjoy it is such fun.

I find starting kissing then pushing them backwards onto the bed to pull their belt/trousers off a pleasing all round experience. From there? Play with being a bit or a lot bossy.

I don’t think you need props or trying to be bossy- I’d go for playful - set a challenge- but be sure to win!

Talk dirty and see what he responds to

Lots of good insights and ideas here:

The Mistress Manual