Is this it?

[rosiemillion]

So basically bit of background .. me and dp have been together 7 years, we used to have quite a good sex life, never anything over the top but we were doing it plenty! Last year when I got pregnant it stopped, he said he found it weird which I understood and thought some men don't like that so hopefully when baby is here he'll be fine, anyway ds is nearly one now and we still very rarely have sex and if we do it's on his terms and when he wants it. I'm only 24 and he's only 28, we're both fit and active! I am feeling so deprived of attention and sex, how do I spice it up again? I've told him so many times and he just says he's not as interested now but I still am interested! Even oral, he isn't interested in that whereas I'd happily give him oral but I would never just do it cause I'd feel too shy and embarrassed to just start it off. Basically I want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar, can you get it back? Where has his sex drive gone? It's making me feel so unattractive and like he doesn't want me anymore.

Sorry for rambling I've had a couple of glasses of wine which is probably why I feel brave enough to post this!! 😂

Has he started any new medication? Antidepressants? They can cause low libido.
If not I'd be checking his porn consumption. This happened to a friend of mine, he insisted he just wasn't ever in the mood, no reason not to trust he wasn't, until she discovered a massive porn addiction.

Nope not that I know of anyway & I wouldn't know how to find out if he's been watching porn? He tells me he doesn't masterbate but it's just really odd how it's gone. I feel awful saying it but I'm bored, he's not giving me enough and I don't know how to sort it.

He's lying if he's telling you he doesn't masturbate, of course he does, this would make me even more suspicious about his porn use because he's lying. You could just ask him about it, but I'd be careful with that because he obviously doesn't want you to know he masturbates, he definitely doesn't want you to know he watches porn, so most likely will deny it. He's starving you of a sex life with no good or valid excuse so you'd be well within your rights to check up on him, ie his phone and browser history. If he's not on medication, suffering from depression, or A sexual I don't really think it could be anything else other then porn addiction in an otherwise healthy 28 yr old male.

Unless you suspect an affair?

He's starving you of a sex life with no good or valid excuse so you'd be well within your rights to check up on him, ie his phone and browser history.

Oh give over. So if a woman doesn't want to have sex, a man would have rights to snoop through her phone? No thanks.

Yes, busybarbara, she is very much entitled to find out why he no longer wants sex in their marriage after 21 months of nothing. He's clearly lying already so I'd say she's within her rights to do her own investigating if she wants to. Of course that's up to op. I know I'd do it in a second if it was my relationship, as would many others that have come here seeking advice because they did exactly the same only to find extensive porn use destroying their marriage.

However this thread is not about the ethics of snooping on a possibly deceitful partner for much needed confirmation of suspicion, when the truth is not forecoming. Feel free to begin one separately though if you'd like to see another 50/50 debate on the topic again, or dig up one of the 100s in archives.

I think you should be very careful with that sort of advice, because snooping is a pretty popular red line - more so than throwing a sulk because you're not getting laid, at least.

Typical mumsnet double standard. If a man asks for sex and his partner declines, he is a sex pest. If she wants it and he declines he is being unreasonable!
Women on here are constantly told that their partner has no right to look at their phone, however if it's the otherway round it's OK.

If you consider mumsnet typically double standard why are you bothered being here?