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Original poster

Is this strange? If ur partner wanted to do this...?

24 replies

sharkymum · 30/09/2018 14:05

Please can someone tell me if cuckholding is normal? When I googled it , seemed way more common in the states,

Long story short- my partner is obsessed with cuckholding and really wants to do it. Has gotten worse over time and basically can only get off talking about it/imagining it/even kind of role playing it
At first I was really put off n disgusted but things he's said has made me think maybe I should just go ahead. He says things like "it's Only cos I find u so attractive" or "I just want u to get pleasure" etc "it'd make me really happy n our relationship stronger" n that it's just exploration, bettering the sex life so when he says all this I consider it but feel ill n my anxiety plays up so can never go ahead

He has even set up an account on a cuckholding/swingers site n will regularly talk to men n show me n msgs r long the lines of "can u come over n fuck my gf while I watch" he even sent an intimate pic of me to a man which I was very uncomfortable with

He says it's really common!? N most of my friends probably do it but don't admit to it as it's a very personal thing, it started off as him wanting a threesome with me n a man like dp (double penetration) he said this wasn't bad (a friend of ours in university did this) but then it's coming to he wants to watch n now he keeps saying he wants me gangbanged!! So loads of men to come n do the deed!! Does anyone have any experience of this? Have your partners ever been into this? I just wanna feel it's common before I make any rash decisions

OP posts:
GrannyHaddock · 30/09/2018 15:50

Which university did you attend?

inmyfeelings · 30/09/2018 16:00

It's great that you're wanting to research this first. You could end up with a real bad rash if you make rash decisions .

starbrightlight · 30/09/2018 16:08

You have this exact thread going on somewhere else on MN.

You know it's not normal. Why do you keep asking?

Mimsy123 · 30/09/2018 16:28

You know it's not normal. Why do you keep asking?

I think that’s quite harsh, to be honest. Your normal is probably not the same as someone else’s normal.

starbrightlight · 30/09/2018 16:51

There's a whole other thread saying it's not normal. I did not reply to that thread but I did wonder why the OP keeps asking when she's already been told.

Re 'Your normal is probably not the same as someone else’s normal'. I haven't given my opinion on what I think is normal. If asked I would probably say there is no such thing as 'normal'.

rwalker · 30/09/2018 18:46

like anything else it's perfectly fine if you are both up for it you are not .You could always call his bluff and say you want to watch him have sex with a man lol see how that goes down

SirGawain · 30/09/2018 20:32

Most of my friends probably do it but don't admit to it as it's a very personal thing.
I'd be prepared to bet that most of your friends are not doing it!

FinnGermey · 30/09/2018 22:59

Most of your friends are having gangbangs and involved in cuckolding? Is this what happens in middle class Britain nowadays cos it doesn't happen in my circle of friends

Namechanged1010 · 01/10/2018 12:39

i have name changed to answer this as would rather others don't know lol. Is it unusual? I don't think it is as a fantasy. i got a little shocked when my husband started doing pillow talk in bed about seeing me have another man. I was a bit shocked at first but equally saw it was very arousing for him so have played along and at least half the times we make love he likes us whispering about it and what we would each do. i have found it can be exciting and the sex is definitely good. Would i do in real life. No but can see that it could be a slippery slope for some

AdaArdor · 01/10/2018 21:26

I wouldn't judge anyone, if two people are happy then go for it! But don't let him pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with.

However, I do judge him for sharing an intimate picture of you without your consent. That would be a deal-breaker for me, he'd be out the door in less than a minute.

bridgetoc · 02/10/2018 01:20

Is it normal? Who cares.........

Will it work for you? I doubt it. The reason cuckold relationships don't work is because it's usually something the man is asking for. It's called topping from the bottom.

Could it work? Yes....... My DH is a cuckold, but in our case it was me who initiated it, and it works very well for us.

AlsoKnownAs17 · 03/10/2018 13:18
  1. It's not uncommon.
  2. There's nothing wrong with it if it works for you.
  3. If he's sending pictures of you to other people without your consent, that shows a lack of respect.
  4. This sounds exclusively about what he wants. D/s has to be mutual.

(PS It's not my bag - have just know people for whom it is.)

PussGirl · 04/10/2018 07:02

I think as a fantasy it can be very exciting - sometimes my DP tells me what other men are doing to me, as he touches me in certain places while we are in bed.

We'd never do it for real though.

Although never say never Grin

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 04/10/2018 08:56

All of this sounds very much one sided, all about what he wants to do. What about what you want? Are you interested in sex with other men? It could work but only if YOU are sure you want to do it, it's a certain recipe for disaster if you go along with it because it's what he wants and you don't. Definitely continue with the research, maybe find some women online who cuckold their husbands and get their advice etc, that would be helpful. Fabswingers is a good site to try.

As for the sharing intimate pictures without your consent, I'd be fuming! You need to have serious words about that, it shows a huge lack of respect and he needs to understand that it is not on at all.

Cblockbitch · 04/10/2018 20:06

I would be so upset if my DH wanted to share me. This would be a deal breaker for me. Particularly that he is badgering you into it and sharing intimate pictures of you without your consent.
Please do not feel pressured to do anything you do not want to do op.
Cuckolding may be normal and pleasurable for some but pressuring you into it is NOT normal and if he loves you he needs to stop.

My DH has a bottom fetish which he got quite obsessed with and I told him that if he wanted any intimacy with me at all he needed to stop trying to pressure me into doing things I don't want to do.

He loves me so he stopped.

subspace · 05/10/2018 00:43

I thought I hadn't seen a post from you for a little while. You've name changed I see.

If I am right (and apologies if I'm not but another poster wrote exactly what you have a while ago) he's an abusive A hole and the answer is for you to LTB but you won't.

costacoffeecup · 05/10/2018 21:42

Why are you posting again? It's obvious you're the same person because you can't spell cuckolding.

HeckyPeck · 05/10/2018 22:01

If he's sending pictures of you to other people without your consent, that shows a lack of respect.

That’s putting it mildly. It’s a criminal offence.

Decent people don’t do that to people they love. Nor do they pressure them into any kind of sex acts.

He knows you have anxiety and it makes you feel ill and he still tries to make you do it. Awful behaviour. Get out OP

Gates · 10/10/2018 22:08

It doesnt matter what everyone else thinks is Normal or not. If you want to try it then go for it if you arent sure and only considering it for your partner then stay away from it and if he doesnt understand then that says alot about him.

Mummyoftwokids · 07/11/2018 00:29

Hang on... does it matter if your friends are doing it or not?! It's about what YOU are comfortable with. Not what Joe Bloggs next door is doing.

And he's talking rubbish anyway. Don't let him manipulate you.

HustleRussell · 07/11/2018 19:02

He sounds like a twat who watches too much porn.

busybarbara · 11/11/2018 02:17

To your actual question it sounds far less minging than anal and apparently everyone is up to that so fill your boots I say

disneyspendingmoney · 11/11/2018 12:38

Do you think he's getting confused between reality and porn? The latter is scripted and acted for viewers consumption.

The whole cuckolding thing is about humiliation (all parties actually) so you can give him a little taste of it by vetbalsing the sexual humiliation. You don't need a.n. other to participate in that bit. See how he feels about some verboe emasculation. Maybe go as far as demanding he "cleans you up" next time you have sex. Ask him how he'd feel about it being another man's cum, STD's of a.n. other not withstanding, while he's doing it.

This is a typical make fantasy power play where the reality is often quite unpleasant, complicated and horrible.

Finally, it really isn't bloody common at all - he's saying that to mug you

Simulcrum · 26/12/2018 04:03

No idea whether this is common or not. But I do have experience of at least one partner aksing/enquiring about it or similar. My guess is that it is a common fantasy amongst men, so yes it's normal. However to do it in real life is another thing entirely! what men want, and what they think that they want, in my experience, can be very different! I would say be very cautious, and be clear on what you are expecting before agreeing to anything.

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