Sex parties - opinion from people who have tried this

[AnastasiaS]

DH and I are thinking of trying this. We would like to ask opinions from people who are married and have tried this. What was the outcome, positive or negative? Did it cause any complications?

We haven't although we did look in to it with some friends of ours. It all went a bit Pete tong for them, and they are now separated as a direct result. DH is now... Reluctant. You need to both be 100% on what you are and aren't allowed to do, and who with. Talk openly about expectations and be prepared to put the brakes on if or when one of you becomes uncomfortable.

Thank you for replying. Definitely best to think it through before going ahead. Do you mind if I ask what went wrong with your friend’s relationship?

Essentially one of them had an affair with someone they met at a sex club.

If you wish to go ahead with a sex party, then I suggest doing the following: many years ago I answered an online advert for men to be part of a gang bang, and the ad was created by a chap who was a friend of the woman and her husband who wanted the gang bang. He was a bachelor and had agreed to do all the organisation and hosting in order that the couple had no contact with the men prior to the night. He hosted the event and those attending were vetted by him upon arrival. Once he was happy, he phoned the woman and her husband who were waiting nearby and they appeared at his address. The men had no idea of who the couple were, where they lived, or their contact details. The gang bang took place and everyone went their separate ways. Nobody was ever permitted to attend a second event, so there would be no means of trying to develop any relationship with the couple involved. No exchange of emails/phone details, etc., ever took place between the men who attended and the couple involved. It seemed a very good way of ensuring absolute privacy and had been running once a month for ages. You will need to find only one person to trust, instead of being forced to place your trust in everybody.

I've name changed for obvious reasons.

Firstly a gangbang is not a sex party it's completely different and I wouldn't go there as a first option.

I've been a Swinger off and on with my husband for the last 7 years. We have been to sex parties and private meets with other couples. There can be feelings of jealousy at first but it's how you manage those feelings, you need to stick together as a couple and work through them. There has to be strict rules about what you are and aren't willing to do and you both have to stick to them. Normally it's the female that ultimately decides what will happen and from knowing other couples this seems to work best.
Don't let it take over your life, make it more an occasional thing you would do to keep it interesting.

There's different levels of what people are willing to do and you need to make it clear to the people you are playing with what your limits are. Some like to only have sex with their own partners in front of others, some soft swap... Everything but sex with other people and others are up for full swap so everything goes.

If I were you I would have a look at the site fabswingers. There you will find out a lot of information, they have a forum. You'll also get to talk to other people that are looking to try or have tried sex parties. Make sure you set your message filters when you first join so only the type of people you are interested in can contact you i.e no single guys or you will be bombarded.

Completely agree, a gangbang is not what we had in mind! Thank you for your advice. Can I ask what the positive and negative points have been for your relationship? I know you mentioned jealousy which is something we have considered. We already joined fabswingers but just exploring so far as we haven’t come across the right match to go ahead any further at the moment. Do you know of any clubs where you can just watch/be watched to begin with? From your perspective do you have any regrets about doing this, are you planning to continue ongoing?

I didn't liken a sex party to a gang bang: I was just detailing one couple's techniques and ideas for managing their encounters. You could cherry-pick some relevant points for your own situation, or not - the choice is yours.

If you live near to the bottom of the A1, then this place looks pretty good if you are looking to watch, or be watched.
www.thevanillaalternative.co.uk/

The positive points are it's certainly livened up our sex life and we will have a few stories to have a giggle over when we're older. I really can't think of any negative points, everyone we have met socially or other are all still together and happy but of course that's not always the case. Just be very picky who you choose to meet.

We are planning to go to a club next month actually, haven't been to one for a few years. No regrets, we know that it will naturally come to an end at some point but our thoughts are we get to try fantasies out together for a bit of fun and that's all they are, fantasies, in the real world we're just your standard married couple doing normal family things.

All clubs you can watch or be watched without people joining in, they have very strict rules about no means no. You can even go to one and not do anything at all. They have plenty of club reviews on the site to give you an idea of what they are like.

Hi, Xtasia in West Brom is a great place to start more of a disco but with little rooms if you want to play etc. Very erotic but not in your face etc. Also I hear vanilla alternative is great also for beginners.