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Lost sex drive after baby and chronic pain

3 replies

butterybean · 20/09/2018 20:20

Hey, just after some advice really.

DS, first baby is 10 months old. I've recently been diagnosed with arthritis and need a new hip. I'm in serious amounts of pain everyday from about 2pm until I manage to fall asleep.

I've recently stopped bf'ing DS as I couldn't manage it anymore with my hip. He's never slept through the night, I had an 84 hour labour resulting in EMCS and I had depression throughout my pregnancy.

He's a big baby and has 2/3 night feeds. We share out doing the nights now as DP has a dangerous job so can't be knackered at work. I work from home on family business 2 days a week when DS is in nursery.

For the last month, while my hip pain has been bad I've also had a change of headspace. Usually I love sex but I no have no libido at all. I think it's a combination of hip pain (v close to pelvis) and the hormone change if stopping breastfeeding and the amitriptyline that they have put me on for the pain (which I've recently stopped taking as it makes me anxious).

So there has been no sex for a month and DP is really struggling with this and it is affecting our relationship. Sex really is too painful for me - I struggle to walk and drive, can't hold myself in any position and can't put weight through my leg.

What should I do? How can DP be happy while waiting for my hip to fix (could be 2 year wait for surgery...)

Anyone got any experience of high sex drive partner coping with medically induced sex ban....

Will my headspace return eventually?

OP posts:
starbrightlight · 30/09/2018 16:06

Sorry about the pain you're in but Amitriptyline is the likely cause of your missing sex drive, it's well known for stopping libido and also the ability to orgasm.

How long ago did you come off it? Your libido and orgasms should return in a few weeks of stopping the tablets.

BusyDoingLittle · 30/09/2018 22:24

A month!

Your DP is being unreasonable. It's perfectly normal for women to go a lot longer after a birth. He is lucky you've been available up until now.

He can wait. He can wait longer than a month. He won't die. If he really can't understand your situation, or you really DO feel sorry for him, use your mouth on him to keep him quiet.

BusyDoingLittle · 30/09/2018 22:25

You have yourself and a little one to look after. Looking after his sex needs can wait.

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