Sex with a new partner after a being in an abusive relationship.

[Ax688]

I'm with a new partner. It has been around 2 months.
We have had sex and at first I felt awkward and tense. I kept telling myself the more we has sex the less awkward i would feel. I still feel very awkward. I have zero confidence and just generally feel embarrassed and now feel I am avoiding seeing him beacuse of it.

I was in a 10 year abusive relationship and my new partner is my first since my abusive ex.

Could this have anything to do with it? Has anyone had any experience and can offer advice? Did it get better? Do you eventually build your confidence back up?

Thank you.

Speak to your partner.

I think it's pretty normal to feel tense with someone new, especially after a long relationship. Worse if there were problems before.

I think sex needs practise too - what worked with one partner doesn't necessarily work with another.

I'm in a fairly new relationship & sex is improving, even though I didn't feel tense (in my head) at the beginning, I'm now more relaxed "down there" IYSWIM & getting more enjoyment out of it. It was a lot of fun at the outset, but very much more so now.

OH is more relaxed too, so everything just works better than it did at the beginning.

We have talked quite a lot about our demons, both having had difficult relationships before.

Talk to each other & be honest about your worries - it will improve I'm sure.