Post baby sex

[BorahT]

Hi all,

I hope you can give some good advice as I feel like my relationship is on the rocks 😞

I’ve never had a particularly high libido but my DH has, before we had a baby we had sex probably once a week, which is still no where near enough for my DH but more than enough for me. Suffice to say now we have a DC it’s barely ever, it took until I was 9 months PP for it to stop being painful and im only just now feeling like it’s vaguely enjoyable (DS is 17 months now).

DH is fed up, and I just can’t summon up the interest, in between the non sleeping baby who doesn’t give me a second to myself, working and keeping on top of running the household sex just doesn’t happen.

Anything that I can do to make myself want it more? Other than just forcing myself to do it when I really don’t want to (which just makes it feel like another chore to add to the list!)

I think communication is really important. On one hand you feel exactly as you have outlined and is perfectly understandable. However on the other...and I'm not suggesting this is imminent but relationships where sex dwindles often then start suffering more problems due the lack of intimacy and can lead to more likelihood of cheating or total relationship breakdown.

Added to this your libido has never been high so this adds to it. I think you need to talk to DH and say how you feel but also understand how he does and try to work together to make time together and improve things. Sometimes making the effort can bring the desire back more

Thank you for the reply Marie, I think you are right. It would be easy to say DH should get off my case about it but it is a pretty important part of the relationship to my DH and he has needs too. I just wish I felt like I could at least meet him half way so he didn’t feel completely neglected. We have talked about it before so he knows how I feel. I guess it just comes down to putting aside and not being lazy about it, the precious hour after DS has gone to bed is usually reserved to flomp on the sofa and veg out!