I’ve been with my partner for 5 years. He has never been very sexual. We have sex but it is ALWAYS the same. In bed, at bedtime, lights out, missionary... Don’t get me wrong, it’s still good but sometimes I find it difficult to get into it because I can literally predict every single step and it takes out any passion or excitement.
In the past, I’ve been with guys who were quite adventurous. Having sex in fields in broad daylight knowing people are walking past, going to watch a crap movie at the cinema so we knew it would be half empty then getting busy on the back row, shagging in shower cubicles at the swimming pool, sex in cars parked up in a quiet spot because we were both just so horny that we couldn’t wait... amongst many other things. I am a dominant person and I tend to be the alpha in most aspects of my life but in terms of sex, I want to be dominated. I like a guy to take the reins. Grab me from behind while I’m doing the dishes and bend me over the dining table, slip into the shower with me, throw me around a little bit. Make me feel like I’m so irresistible that they HAVE to have me there and then regardless of what we’re doing or where we are (although, within reason obviously lol).
I have discussed this many times with my partner over the last 5 years. I’d say it’s the second biggest thing we argue about. I bring it up and he gets offended and thinks I’m calling him boring (which I suppose I am in a way) and then if I’m lucky, he will try and be more spontaneous the next time we have sex and then after that I’m back to square one.
I try dropping little hints sometimes, or I’ll do something like walk round the house wearing next to nothing. He never really picks up on it. I basically end up just pretty much asking for it which is kind of counter productive considering I want it to be him initiating. I’ve even asked him what his fantasies are, since he knows one of mine is being dominated, so that I could help with his which might encourage him to pay more attention to mine but he just said he doesn’t have any.
Anyway, I’ve decided that maybe I just need to take charge. Maybe show him what it is that I want him to do (if that makes sense). But as someone who is very much a sub when it comes to sex, I was looking for some advice on how to be the one who grabs him when he comes through the front door and dominate HIM. He’s out this evening but back around 2am. I was planning on just kicking back with a bottle of wine but I’m thinking tonight would be a good time to go for it. Any tips/advice on how to go about it? I feel like all my years of being dominated has spoilt me and now I don’t really know how to do it myself!