Anyone else feel a little pressurised when their DP has been prescribed Sildenafil?

[lacoba66]

First time posting in this section....

To explain a bit more. I’ve been with DP now for over 2 years. We did use to live together, but due to work and location we don’t anymore. It’s a semi-long distance relationship (no pun intended there!)

We still see each other 2-3 times a week.

Several months ago he was started on 20mg of Citalopram, but struggled with side effects within hours of taking it, so after 2 weeks he dropped it to 10mg and seemed to be managing better.

During this time he had maybe 2 occasions where he struggled to maintain an erection, or couldn’t cum, but otherwise I thought all was well (no biggy to me, but i do understand that for some men this can become an issue).

We had sex when last together and he mentioned after climaxing that it would be “several days worth”. When I asked what he meant, he said that he had not been able to ejaculate when masturbating.

He had a review of meds today at the GP and mentioned this and they have prescribed the above at 50mg.

Is it wrong of me to now feel as though there will be no spontaneity and what if he takes it and I then don’t feel in the mood?

I now feel under pressure!

I know people will say that we need to talk, but he didn’t talk to me before asking for it.

If I’m overreacting, then by all means say, but tell me why I am.

I am a bit conflicted

When you are prescribed meds for ED, unfortunately spontaneity takes a back seat to planning. If you give clear signals that you are keen for some bedroom activity that night he will know to be 'prepared'. It does put some pressure on you but it's best you decide when it happens rather than him popping a tablet in hope and then being pissed off when you are not interested

Agree with Finn

If it becomes a problem, he could asked the GP about Tadalafil instead. There is a 5mg daily dose available, as well as 10mg & 20mg for before sex.

A daily dose removes the expectation, as it's there in the background all the time.

Im on my second round of ecitalopram and was informed by my psych that it could delay ejaculation. I use Sildenafil and Tadafil from time to time and to be honest I'm.never entirely sure how much help they were.

He has a medical issue which is causing him problems. You are going to have to work with those parameters and that means spontaneity won't work.

If you end up having DC with him it'll be out the window anyway so think of it as practise!

For some people Sildenafil can loose its effect when taken within a couple of hours of food and takes an hour (maybe 45 minutes) to take effect, but then gives a 4 hour window of opportunity.

As such some planning may be needed but equally if he finds it doesnt interact badly with food, for him, then if you're in the mood he can pop a pill and you'll just have to draw out the foreplay for an hour!!!

Personally I find tadalafil the better option, it has no interaction with food seems to take effect faster but also gives at least a 36 hour window of opportunity.

I tend to take one (10mg) on a Saturday evening, if DW is in the mood that's fine, if not then it's still effective on Sunday and if she's still only in the mood then it's a shame but not the end if the world.