sex problem gross TMI

[marmee]

DH have recently got our groove back, just as I think I'm getting peri-menopausal (no period for 5 months now). All great, i'm feeling fabulous and really up for it after a fairly fallow, once or twice a month stage. DH delighted, we've been having a high old time. But he sometimes gets sore skin on his fingers which he thinks is exacerbated by sex FLUIDS and after a fairly marathon session of going down on me the other night he thinks he got a sort throat and a sore mouth. So look, either he's lying to get out of doing me properly [but I don't think so, he's really into being good at it and is thrilled that I'm back on the horse, so to speak] OR there's something up with me - but I don't think I have thrush, definitely don't have any STDs OR he's imagining it and just has hay fever and sensitive skin? Either way the conclusion to this is that I am not prepared to stop doing what I've just got back into doing and is bringing me great joy. Any ideas?

Have you been tested recently for STI's? A few of them can cause a sore throat. You say you recently got your groove back. I can think of no other reason oral sex would give him a sore throat, unless he's making it up to avoid doing it. Sorry if this comes over negative but honestly can't think of any other reason.

No, my groove has been monogamous :) Thanks ThirdTime

Maybe you could both go together to the sexual health clinic and be screened .
Even if you've been in an exclusive relationship for yonks , some virus's , for example Herpes Zoster can remain dormant for years and years . It wouldn't mean infidelity and there no harm in being checked out thoroughly . Then you can both relax and enjoy 😊

if you've been using a new brand of condom, new toys, a new lube: he could be reacting to that. But yeah: health screen too, just in case.

There are many types of bacteria that are no problem at all in one orifice, but can be a nuisance in another. Sore throats after spending ages having oral can be an issue, but getting checked (both of you) seems like a good idea.

thanks everybody, good advice xx

You say you don't think you have thrush but it wouldn't hurt to pop the thrush tablet and lay off sex for a week while it 'works'. I recently noticed a slightly odd texture to my discharge but would not normally have assumed that was thrush, it didn't itch or anything, and after a while I decided to just self treat with the oral thrush treatment and now it's back to 'normal', so worth a go.

He could also try Canestan on his fingers when they get sore and there is an oral thrush gel he could use on his mouth. I've had oral thrush, it actually didn't give me a sore throat, just sore tongue and sides of my mouth and the skin shed a bit. The oral gel sorted it and tasted of orange.