OP - I'm not trying to be clever here or in anyway directly have a go, but I cannot help wondering what responses would have been forthcoming had this same post been written from a man's perspective, perhaps along the line of the following, gender reversed...
"So if you had a bath/shower (kids were in bed ) and wife watching tv but you came down stairs showed her your genitals and attempted to initiate putting in her face what would your wife do?"
I'd take a guess there would be a fair amount of negativity towards such behaviour. I'd expect comments ranging from 'where's the foreplay', all the way to 'disgusting, abhorrent behaviour'.
If I take my 'double standards police hat' off for a moment and try to answer the question objectively, my reaction would totally depend on my understanding of my wife's perceived reaction if I did the same in reverse.
If my wife was the sort to reactive positively to the site of an unannounced penis shoved in her face with no warning and instantly become aroused and sexually enthusiastic, then I guess my response would be similar.
As my wife would be pretty disgusted if I were to do such a thing, and then inform me about foreplay, sexual tension, build up, that sex begins earlier in the day and the mood needs to be right and there should be little hints, gestures of good will, wooing here and there, perhaps a massage etc before even thinking of doing such a thing, then if my wife were to turn round and just shove here lady garden in my face and expect me to respond, I'd reject her and have a rather frank conversation about one rule for one and a another rule for another. In other words, "sorry, no - you don't get to just be sexually demanding on a whim whilst I've got to build up and coerce for hours in advance.
Can't have it both ways.
In summary, it depends on the dynamic and previous rules of engagement.