From a perspective of expectation, I think that depends on the circumstances and individuals concerned.
For example, if you've recently met someone who before DTD has expressed how much she loves receiving oral and it's one of her favourite things, that might lead a man to believe that fair's fair, there is likely to be some reciprocation, hence a level of expectation.
Likewise, If you meet someone who is naturally timid, doesn't come across as very sexual and gives hints towards a more vanilla sexual environment, this might change any level of base line expectation.
Oral sex is absolutely normal to some people and considered a little 'out there' to others and those individuals will have different levels of expectation.
As to whether do all me want BJs.... again, I think this needs a l little clarification.
Whilst no man can speak on behalf of every man alive, what I will state is that most men want a quality/productive BJ.
I make that statement with some sadness in my heart, as I've only ever had one BJ in my life (I'm no spring chicken so this is not from lack of experience) where I've reached orgasm.
It was this experience that demonstrated what a good BJ can be like and the fantastic result that followed. Sadly, the rest have all be a bit 'meh' where I've had to suggest stopping and moving on to something else as I've literally been getting bored due to no orgasmic feelings building up.
What has been the difference between the great one and all the rest?
Enthusiasm.
Sensing your partner is giving you oral out of obligation or a half hearted attempt to 'get this part out of the way' ruins it completely.
When a woman is passionate, clearly well into it, makes great sultry eye contact, varies technique, tries different things, uses imagination, but above all treats it like she's enjoying it as much as you might be, that's what makes (made) it great.
When it's basically an awkward, mechanical, repetitive event with no passion, frequent teeth issues, no variance or eye contact, no noises of enjoyment, very little depth, too much hand (effectively a hand job with the end in their mouth, just), it just doesn't feel that great and I often feel that we might as well not bother.
Sadly for myself, the above has been the way of it all my life, bar one lady when I was much younger that I considered knew what she was doing.
I often read that it's important to give feedback and supportive instruction to help your partner please you - how to you ask your long term partner to be more enthusiastic, sexy and into to it without that in itself making it seem even more false and ruining it further?
In summary - expectation? Depends.
Always want - only if quality, passionate and horny.
That's my experience anyway.