My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Sex

Has my weight loss, turned HIM off?

7 replies

paranoidanxiety2018 · 21/05/2018 09:37

NC for obvious reasons


My dh met me when I was about 1/2 stone heavier than I am now. We had Lots of great sex, often several times a day. As things do our sex life dwindled slight with the arrival of our children, but it was still great sex just less often about once a week after our 4th was born. During that time I put on a massive amount of weight (4 stone) but this didn't deter dh in the bedroom.
However, in the last 7 months I have lost just over 4 stone and suddenly there's no sex, and I do mean no sex at all for 6 weeks.
I've asked him and he said "stop being silly, u know I love u no matter what" and after that 'conversation' he has been more 'handsy' but that's as far as it goes.
As I've lost weight I have taken great pleasure in buying and wearing new, nice clothes, which I thought might intice him.
I've been lucky so far in that I've not suffered from loose skin and already my 'chicken skin' has started to clear up, so I'm struggling to see what the problem is, I feel more attractive, beautiful etc than I ever have but this problem is starting making me feel rejected, unattractive and my anxiety is creeping back.

Can any1 please help/advise? I don't want 2 end my marriage, (as he's a good man generally), but sex is a big thing 2 me.

Sorry for the length.

OP posts:
Report
Wanderwall · 21/05/2018 10:32

I'm not sure but do you think he might have become less confident as yours has grown?

Report
GrannyHaddock · 21/05/2018 12:55

Is he having any difficulties outside the home, at work for instance? What did he mean by "no matter what"?

Report
paranoidanxiety2018 · 21/05/2018 13:46

No body confidence issues at all.

No difficulties outside the home.

When he says no matter what it's supposed to mean, just that, I could be 400lbs and he'd still love me.

I've had a pm from some1 and a possible reason has been bought 2 my attention regarding confidence, ie I am aware tht comments have been made by male friends (of his) and neighbours about my weight loss/how good I'm looking/my new found confidence etc, so I'm wondering if it's this as I know I would not like it if my female friends were 'admiring' my dh?

OP posts:
Report
KinkyAfro · 21/05/2018 14:28

You'd think he'd be proud of how well you've done. Ive lost 7.5 stone since I've been with my DP and he's constantly complimenting me and telling me how proud he is of me

Report
paranoidanxiety2018 · 21/05/2018 17:15

@kinky oh don't get me wrong he does do that ie telling me proud he is, how hard I've worked, complimenting me (he's always saying he can see how much happier I am) as well as helping me with toning exercises to try & help stop any future problems with excess skin etc.

Really, I suppose it must be quite an adjustment for him having a wife for over a decade who struggled with self esteem/confidence even alone to suddenly having a wife whose openly and unashamedly wearing dresses/ shorts/skirts etc and from watching the floor as I walked to the head up, not-fake smile I have going on now.

Plan to corner him (not literally) tonight 2 talk properly cos whatever it is I can deal with, as long as it's to put the weight bk on, because that I cannot, will not do.

OP posts:
Report
moviesgirl · 22/05/2018 11:04

Maybe he thinks you might be having an affair.

Report
paranoidanxiety2018 · 23/05/2018 08:47

sorry haven't updated, had busy time of it...

So, I told him we need 2 talk and we sat down and I told him everything about how I've been feeling, how it's made me feel with the lack of sex/perceived rejection etc and that I needed 2 know what was up.

He's said that yes it does bother him about the comments being made but that's not my fault, he also said that he thought now i had a lot more confidence that I would take more control in the bedroom to initiate things and he felt a bit frustrated and sometimes rejected himself. So we talked about everything, seems we lost communication a little bit somewhere.

thanks for all the advice on the thread, and off

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.