Lapdances

[anon135]

Hi, I wanted to ask a fairly personal question. Are you expected by your DP/DH to give him a lapdance before sex to turn him on? He says he's very visual and that's what turns him on, but I don't feel I should have to go through a performance all the time just to have sex. He also tells me I'm not moving in the right way when I do choose to do one for him. I just feel uncomfortable doing it and I can't have a drink beforehand to relax about it because I'm pregnant! He does watch porn a lot so I wonder if it's warped his mind slightly and he expects more in real life. Should I just get on with it?

These threads always go the same way. In a while the he OP will return and claim he is an excellent partner in all other ways. I’m sick of these posts. OP, your DP VIews you as a sexual puppet. I suspect he is an arse in more ways than this. Good luck.

WTF? No. He must think all of his lottery numbers have come up as he’s managed to convince you that this is normal.

If this isn’t a joke (and for once I hope it is) then think of it this way OP. Would you demand that he did something which made him feel uncomfortable every time you had sex? You wouldn’t would you? That’s because you love and respect him as something other than a sex object.

Also, it’s just weird.

I wouldn't be giving him house room, let alone a lap dance or anything else.

WTF???? What about what you want??? He needs visual stimulation.....How about his suitcase by the front door and divorce papers. What a cunt. Bet he's no oil painting either. Bin him with immediate effect.

@bluesuffragette -

He currently has the hump with me as he wanted a lapdance and bj. I was happy to give the bj but not the lapdance, but now he doesn't seem to want anything while he's in a bad mood

He's an arsehole, a selfish immature arsehole!

The sulking is ridiculous. Just for a bit of perspective OP, DH specifically asked me for a certain thing last night. I agreed because I was happy to do it as it's not something we do regularly.However, by the time we got round to it, I was tired and had changed my mind. He didn't sulk, even though I had promised him. He accepted I'd changed my mind but rather than sulking, he went down on me instead. Because sex is about both our pleasure, not just his.

Nagging sulky men demanding selfish sex acts in the bedroom are the biggest turn off ever. Tell him that.

Preach, @KatnissK. Sex is about mutual satisfaction. If he wants you to give him a lap dance, let him turn you on so much that it's something you genuinely want to do. You're not a sex toy and he should bloody well earn it!

I also am of the opinion that he should fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more for having the nerve to then criticise and make you feel self conscious! It sounds as if he's shit in bed..

He sounds like a loser.

Total, utter, wankbadger & a creepy one at that. I’ve been with my DH fit 15 years & before that I had 15 years of brilliant & fun relationships and sex...literally never given anyone a lap dance, nor would I unless it was my choice & if I want to give a bj then it is when I decide - have never and would never comply with a demand. What an horrible place he had got you into where you even have to ask, of course that’s not normal.

If he carries on like this once you’ve had the baby you should get out fast (& let him go & pay for his grubby little fetish..)

I'm sorry but no he isn't a good partner-he is basically punishing you for not complying with his demands by his sulking. Pathetic, petulant little shit

Where do you fit into all this?

An arse like this will be in the nearest strip jojnt this time next week and blaming you for it as you are ‘not satisfying his needs’

And in 25 years i have never once asked my wife for a lap dance and im probably as visual as it gets!

Selfish wanker!
You are not a sex toy or a lapdancer.
You are not there to serve his every whim.

What does he do for you?

There is absolutely no place for demands or sulking in the sex life of an adult relationship.

Joining the chorus; tosser

This is not cool OP, not cool.

I wish I had more to suggest.

He's a complete waste of your life - get rid ASAP

total utter tosspot!

better you do it than someone else ...Try it might be fun

better you do it than someone else ...Try it might be fun

I'm assuming you are making a very dry joke here, debs. Because surely no one old enough to be able to read and write would think that 'Pregnant wives, give your husband the lapdance and fellatio he is sulking about in case he goes and gets it in a strip club/from a prostitute! Keep your man at all costs!' is in any way a normal thing to 'advise'.

His head and sexual expectation are stuck in his (very) early teens when porn forms their expectation of ‘normal’ sex and he needs to grow up and learn about being an adult. Sex isn’t about performance and coercion. I think he needs some counselling

If he had the hump with me I’d tell him where to F off

No chance.

Ask him for a lap dance tonight.

Tell him you want a Magic Mike style lap dance ! See how he likes it.