Just asking for advice

[rainydaysunday]

I hope this is OK to post in this section and here goes. I'm a guy who sometimes likes to wear women's knickers/panties (never quite sure the right term). Its not something I want to do all the time nor do I want to wear other womens clothes. The issue is I have never told my wife about it and this is making me feel guilty. I wear them when my wife is away or out and keep my knickers hidden away. I would love to tell her but fear it could be a very embarrassing conversation. I would like to point out that she is open minded and appreciates my love of clothes and me buying her nice underwear!. I'd really would like any advice on how to talk about it with my wife or alternatively would it best to keep quiet, thanks

It's always, always knickers. Panties has a major ick factor for everyone I know.

If it is something you do just for you, there isn’t any need to share.

If you want her somehow involved, then talk to her. Be thorough though - explain what it is you do, how it makes you feel and why you enjoy it. A lot of kinks and preferences are totally written off by partners who don’t fully understand the how or why of the situation.

Thank you. i guess it is part of a wider conversation for us. To give you a bit of the background. we've been together 25 years, kids at uni and feel we have more time for each other and would both like to have a bit more fun. We have been skirting around the issue of what we like sexually and I think we have both become a little shy of telling each other what we would like to try. I don't expect my wife to be involved but I just want to be honest and trying to communicate better.

I tend to agree and I've always called them knickers. But the last couple of times I have bought underwear for my wife the shop assistants have called them panties.

I think you should tell her, in the way that MrsAHotch suggests.

If you don't tell her, and she finds them, then her first thought might be that there is another woman on the go.

You need to understand the risk. Whilst yes you have a secret and you want to be open with her, I would be repulsed if my husband told me he liked wearing women's knix. It wouldn't do anything for me as a kink (and I think I'm very open minded). I like him buying them for me as he has good taste, and sometimes buys more risqué stuff that means a good session ..especially if on a weekend away!

I see where your coming from MarieG10, kinks are strange things. Many kinks do absolutely nothing for me with the occasional one repulsing me. I don't know how I would react if my wife suggested something that didn't turn me on. I would hope I could find a way to enjoy it as I would like to please her.

That’s the thing though, isn’t it - we aren’t all made to like the same things. I’m very open minded and due to having the “explain thoroughly” policy, I can participate or rule out without it causing too much awkwardness.

If you’re both shy, it makes it much more difficult. Whatever you do, don’t say something like “what do you think of men who enjoy wearing knickers”. Your partner may react negatively, stopping you from opening up.

Thank you MrsAHotch, we have both become rather shy over the years and we have discussed being a bit more open about our needs and slowly getting there. I see my kink as fun and playful and certainly nothing too serious.

I think you need to test the waters first, to see what kind of reaction you get from her. I would be horrified if my DH told me he did this - I would much prefer he kept it to himself. If it was something I found out I would want him to keep it private. It's not something I would need or want to know about.

Honestly, after 25 years together, I think you can do this. If my husband came to me with the same kink, I'd look forward to stroking his rock hard cock in satin.... Because I love him, and I just don't think it's a big deal. You know your wife, but it sounds like she's open to ways of trying to spice things up. I'd pitch her to her as maybe a textural thing to start with - even if it isn't textural in your head - and go from there. Good luck.