Bdsm and boyfriend

[Happybunny1994]

I’ve always had a bit of a kinky side. It never really came out untill I was single and I got to experience it quite a lot over the 2 years I was single. I’ve had a mixture of rough bdsm sex and normal sex and I enjoy them both. My boyfriend of 2 years isn’t bothered by what sex we have he happily ties me up but he’s never very dominant. How do I help him with this I’ve tried blocking the bdsm side to me but I’m craving a good old spank . I’ve considered going to see someone and pay them but that would be cheating and I would never do that to my boyfriend. I’m thinking maybe asking if wants to be blind folded and cuffed to show him how it’s feels to loose your senses during sex . I don’t no what to do

He might be worried about being dominant, my partner in the early stages once said ‘isn’t this a bit rapey?’ But we had a chat and now we both have a lot of fun. I’d say talk to him and ahh ego shopping together for a few things.

I had a few toys before I met him and we have done a bit of shopping together over the 2 years. He finds it awkward i guess he dosnt really get excited by it. When it comes to sex it’s like he can’t get dominant. He happily ties me up and stuff but it seems like a chore to him. He’s never spanked me properly or ever tried to choke me. He knows how far I’m willing to go but has never suggested trying somthing.

I don’t want to push him or put him
Off sex either.

Sadly if he's not a dominant type, it's not something you can bring out of him. It's just not there to bring out, iyswim.

So, you have some choices:

1. Not have kinky sex with him
2. Break up with him & find someone who is kinky
3. Ask him if you can open up your relationship so you can find someone kink
4. Cheat on him

I’m just going to have to leave it I’m willing not to have kinky sex if it means I’m with him.

I don't think you can make someone dominant who isn't. They either are or they are not. It may be possible to bring it out in someone who hasn't had opportunity or experience. Unless you are happy to top from the bottom, it's pretty useless to even try.

I think I’m just going to leave it he’s happy for me to watch porn so will just have to let it out that way he’s a great guy and I’m not going to loose him over this

I think a kinkier side can often be developed. A lot of the time it's a matter of confidence. It definitely can't be pushed, but I wouldn't right it off.
Have you talked to him about your fantasies?

Ive talked to him about it and our sex life. He’s not greatly into sex he’s always got some excuse. I need to adress that issue before I adress the kink side I think

Hey, I know this is an old thread but I wanted to see how it went because I'm kind of in this kind of situation but from the other side. Like my fiancee has suggested this yet my immediate reaction is that I'm not in any way authoritative so how would I start. I don't want to let her down because I want her to be happy but also it doesn't feel in any way natural to me. Just I suppose keen to see if you had any progress or if anyone had any advice :-)